


(Not) A perfect family

by ChibyL



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Big Brother Liam, Child Louis, Child Niall, Hyperactive harry, Kidfic, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Parent Zayn, Small Niall, small louis
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-20
Updated: 2016-09-02
Packaged: 2018-05-22 05:56:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 38,301
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6067699
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChibyL/pseuds/ChibyL
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Liam sits at the park staring at his twin brothers, Louis and Niall, as they quietly play together. They are too quiet, too thin...</p><p>And then there is a curly haired little one standing in front of him. It's Harry, with his young dad Zayn.</p><p>And that's how everything changes...</p><p>[You can also find this on wattpad]</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A day at the park

**Author's Note:**

> I really like this story. I am usually unsure about what I write, but in this case I have to say that I like the plot I have in my mind; not so sure I'll be able to write it the way I want to, but I'll do my best.
> 
> Also, I'll try to post a chapter each week! You can find other chapters on Wattpad.
> 
> Hope you enjoy it as much as I do!
> 
> Libs_

Liam stares blankly in front of him.

He is supposed to be working right now, but he can't think about it. Not while he is sitting on a park bench, staring at his brothers playing not so far away. They should be running all around, stealing toys from the other kids and trying to go on the slides before the others. Instead they are sitting on the grass, quietly mumbling to each other, almost afraid to be noticed by the other kids in the park and that's sad.

They have been living with Liam for three months now and they are just beginning to open up to him, let alone talk to someone else. Liam can't help but wonder what life was for the two of them before... well, before Liam. Sometimes he thinks he will never be good for them, that they deserve a lot better, but as his 'friend' Daniel said once, right now all they deserve is love and Liam is more than willing to give it to them.

"Ehy!" a voice startles Liam and he looks right in front of him, or slightly lower to look at the kid talking to him, with his hands on his hips, "You are sitting on our bench!" he says, almost as a warning and Liam smiles politely, already standing up.

"Sorry little man," he says, "I didn't mean to steal your bench."

The kid hops on the empty space next to Liam, just as another person approaches them.

"Harry! Come on, we can sit somewhere else!"

Liam sees the pout on the kid's face, and before he can object, he hurries to answer, "Don't worry, look I can just sit over there-"

But the man is having none of it. "I know, it's not about the bench, it's about education. I'm not the best of the fathers if my son, at seven, still doesn't know that it's not polite to- and I'm rambling. I'm sorry, I'm Zayn and the little monster over there is Harry. Oh, and you can stay right where you are. Right Harry?"

"I am sorry, mister," the kid whispers, "I didn't want to be rude, I just wanted to sit on this bench because that's where I always sit with Daddy on Saturdays."

The boy, Harry, is so cute and Liam can't help but wonder if one day his brothers will be just like him. "Oh, it's fine, little man. You know it's my first time here, I didn't know it was your place. I'm Liam, by the way."

There isn't a real reason, but when Zayn grabs Harry's hand to take him away, he feels like he should stop them. He likes this boy, maybe he can make his brothers play with him, if he works a bit on it. And his dad - he looks so young. He wants to know them more. "You know, actually there's plenty of room here for the three of us. I mean, if that doesn't bother you."

Zayn just shrugs, letting Harry decide and soon they are both sitting next to Liam. Harry opens a book on his legs and slowly he begins to read it to his dad, using his finger to track the lines. The story is about two mice who live behind a barn. So, one day, one of the mice cuts a hole on the roof of their house, so thin that just one berry of wheat can slip through it and, slowly, the mouse fills a cup of it, just enough for their dinner.

Liam stares at them, appalled by how well they seem to interact, how lovely Harry is, even when he stumbles between the words and slaps his thin hand on the book, angry because he messed up in front of his dad and Zayn taps his bigger hand on his son's shoulder, keeping him quiet.

"Good, Harry!" Zayn comments once in a while, when Harry easily pronounces a difficult word.

Liam sadly tears his eyes off the couple and looks back at his brothers. They are still in the same position, looking at him now, but as soon as they notice Liam looking back at them, they lower their gaze, staring at their hands. Liam sighs when the kids just whisper something to each other, grabbing their teddy bears; the first toys Liam brought them. They never seem to be able to stay away from the bears and they close themselves back into their own little world.

So Liam glances back at Harry and Zayn as they keep reading. Liam doesn't even know if his brothers know how to read. They are almost six right now, they are supposed to, right? Well, they barely talk. Liam is not even sure if they went to school until now. Shit, he should apply them to school at this point, he thinks as he rubs his head. And he doesn't know how to! He'll go to school and ask on Monday, first thing in the morning.

"Mister Liam?" Harry's thin voice asks, "Did you like the story?"

Liam realizes he didn't hear the rest of the story, he doesn't know how it ended with the mice and their wheat, but he liked hearing the boy reading. "Yeah, you are really good, Harry."

"Thank you!" he answers, almost jumping in happiness "My daddy taught me. Right, Daddy? You know, we come here every Saturday and he teaches me to read."

"Oh, that's great, Harry, your daddy is awesome," Liam smiles.

"He is! You know he does that because I don't have school on Saturday, because I am still little. And he never works on Saturday mornings. He does it for me. Right, Daddy?"

"Lower your voice, Harry. And yes, it's right, but I don't think Liam wants to hear about our whole live," Zayn says.

"Why not?" Harry asks, blinking in confusion.

They are so cute that Liam almost cries and that's probably why Zayn stopped Harry from rambling, he must have seen his sad face. Not that he can help it.

"Mister Liam? Why are you here if you are that tall? Parks are for kids and their parents. Do you have kids?" Then he turns to his dad, innocently asking, "Can I ask that question, Daddy?"

"Oh, I-" Liam nods in the direction of his brothers, just in time to see a kid, almost twice their height, slamming Niall's teddy bear on the grass and stepping on it. He can't really see his brothers' faces, they are both turned to the boy, whose grin makes Liam's blood boil.

Suddenly the screams of his two brothers fill the air and before he can process what's going on, he has already stepped off the bench, running into their direction, almost shoving the kid off Niall's toy.

"Liam, calm down, they are just kids," Zayn tells him and that's when Liam remembers that he is supposed to be the adult here. That's true, they are just kids and it's not like he has never stolen a toy when he was younger. It's just that - it's complicated. Niall and Louis are not normal kids who know how to stand up for themselves and Liam can't stand their cries.

Not to mention that after three months this is the first time they had gone to the park, and the first time he had managed to bring the kids out without them freaking out. So he doesn't want to ruin the moment. He wants this to be a happy day, so that they'll want to go out again. Make friends, even.

Louis and Niall always refused to go somewhere a few feet further than Liam. Today is the first time they stay on their own for a while. And it's just because Liam had promised they'd be fine.

Instead they are now crying, clinging to his legs so hard that Liam can't move. And Zayn is looking at him in a weird way, Harry frowning next to him, his book clenched in one hand.

"Come on, boys, it's okay," he tries, managing to pull at least Louis' hands off his legs and scooping the kid in his arms. Louis hugs him with his little arms around his neck and hides his face into the crook of his neck, leaving tracks of tears and snot on Liam's shirt. Not that h cares, in the last three months he has been covered in a lot more, from food to pee and he is almost sure that kids aren't supposed to still wet themselves at night at their age.

"Niall, he is gone, look," he keeps saying, giving the bear to his brother and finally managing to pick him up too.

With both of his arms full, he quickly approaches the bench where he left his backpack with his notepad and a few things he thought he might need, like tissues. He sits them there, not caring that it was Harry's bench and crouches in front of his brothers, wiping their faces and whispering nonsense to try and make them stop. It never works and he doesn't even know why he still bothers trying.

For a moment he has completely forgotten about Zayn and Harry, until he feels the both of them staring at him, as he tries to wipe tears off his brothers' faces.

"Hey, boys," Zayn calls and the three of them look at him, "Do you want ice cream?" he offers nicely and he is trying to be helpful, Liam is sure about it. Well, he is not helping at all, because his brothers just begin to cry even harder, scared by the small crowd surrounding them. It's not even a real crowd, just Zayn and Harry, but it's a lot of people for them and Liam knows it.

They just keep crying and Liam's head begins to pound. "Just- uhm, could you give us some time, please?" he begs, without turning in their direction and he really hopes he doesn't sound ungrateful, because he is grateful. A lot, honestly. Zayn is one of the kindest people he has ever met and he loved spending almost half an hour with him and his kid, but right now his own kids need him and he can't think about anything else.

Few minutes later, while his brothers are still sobbing and he is ready to give up and bring them back home, Zayn and Liam approach them again. This time Zayn stays just a few steps further and when Harry tries to come closer, Zayn stops him.

"You are not doing a great job over there," Zayn points out, almost mocking Liam and Liam rolls his eyes, slowly standing up and realizing just now that his legs ache from the weird position he was in.

"Yeah, I don't have a great experience. And they are not trying to make my job easier."

"Well, Harry used to give me tantrum like that when he was their age-" Zayn begins, but Liam stops him almost immediately, with a blunt, "Really? Because if it's so, it was not long ago, they are almost six now."

"Oh, sorry. They seem a lot younger," Zayn replies, taken aback from the harsh tone Liam didn't even want to use.

"Yeah, well, we are working on it. Right boys?" he asks, noticing that they are listening to the conversation no more crying.

They are still rubbing their red eyes and Liam has to admit that they are adorable, the cutest thing he has ever seen, even with their faces all red and blotchy and with their noses running. Niall already shoved his thumb into his mouth and Liam doesn't have the heart to stop him right now. They'll just talk about this bad habit later. Louis was next to him, hiding his face into his own teddy bear, clutching the bear's hands with his own and bites the toy. Maybe they have to talk about this too.

"Are you two okay over there?" Zayn asks and Niall and Louis both nod.

"Daddy, can I tell them my name now?" Harry asks, pulling at his dad's pants and Zayn nods, shrugging in Liam's direction as his son begins with a much louder, "I am Harry. What are your names?"

Louis and Niall stare at him, but neither of them dare to talk.

"What's your name?" Harry tries again, gentle as always, barely patting Louis' knee to catch his attention.

"Come on, boys. Say your names. Harry is a friend of mine, he is a really good boy," Liam tries, doing his best to sound reassuring, well aware that he is doing a poorly job.

"Louis," his brother whispers. "My name is Louis," he clarifies, a tiny bit louder, squeezing his brother's hand trying to make him talk and, in the end, he manages to whisper his own name. "Niall," he says.

That's not a lot, but Liam almost cries. In three whole months this is the first time his brothers talk to someone who is not him or Daniel and that means a lot to him.

"Do you want to be my friends?" Harry asks, "I can read you my book if you want."

Niall and Louis seem grateful that Harry is doing enough conversation for the three of them and they both nod faintly at the mention of the book.

Harry nods happily, clumsily sitting between Niall and Louis and for a moment Liam fears the worse. They don't like to be away from each other, they are probably ready to cry again, but then Harry explains them, "It's just so you can both look at the figure. Like it?"

The kids nod again and Liam takes a relieved breath.

"Harry loves being the big boy," Zayn whispers, standing next to him, "He is good with younger kids, even if they only have a year of difference."

"Yeah, you are lucky."

"Are they yours?"

"Yes," Liam nods, then he realizes what Zayn was implying. "What? I mean no. They are not my children. They are my brothers. Step - brothers to be detailed. But they are mine now."

"Complicated," Zayn mumbles, but he doesn't push him and Liam is grateful. Even Daniel doesn't know their whole story, and he used to be the closest thing to a friend that Liam has ever had. He just finds it hard to trust people, it's not his fault.

Liam shrugs faintly, staring at the kids who try to follow Harry's story. The older kid showing them the pictures on the book and stopping when he thinks they aren't paying enough attention. He is quite smart for his age, Liam realizes, when Harry closes the book and frowns at his dad.

"Daddy, I think they don't like you standing like that."

"What do you mean?" Zayn asks, looking between the three boys and Liam's helpless face.

"You are too tall, it's scary. Mister Liam scares me and I am taller than them," he explains and it makes sense. How come Liam didn't think about that?

He sits on Niall's side, picking him up and sitting him on his leg, "Were we scaring you?" he asks, but Niall doesn't answer, just shifting into his brother's arms and hiding his face on his chest. Great. "Lou?"

Louis shrugs, holding tighter on his bear and looking at Harry's book. He seems slightly disappointed, scared maybe. Liam wonders if he and Niall are angry at Harry for pointing out their fear. It's one of the many things he'll never know about the two kids.

Zayn quietly sits on the end of the bench, on Louis' side. "Is it okay if I stay here?" he asks and Liam could hug him for his kindness, if Niall wasn't trying to print his nose on his chest.

Louis nods, even if he doesn't seem too happy as he shifts closer to Harry.

"Are you done with the story, Harry?" Zayn asks and his son shakes his head, explaining that the white mouse had just cut a bigger hole in the ceiling when he stopped. "The farmer hasn't discovered them yet! You know that, Daddy."

"Oh! Do you guys want to know how it ends?" Zayn asks and Louis looks at him, he wants to say something, Liam knows he wants to, but he doesn't talk. Even Niall moves, so that he can see the scene, but it's not a surprise that his mouth stays shut.

"No?" Zayn asks, aggravating his sadness, "Harry, I guess they'll never know what happens when-"

"Shhh! Daddy, don't tell them. If you tell them the end, they won't be curious, right? That's why we don't peek the last page if we haven't read the whole book."

Liam can't help but smile, and his smile grows wider when Niall whispers something close to his ear.

"What?"

"I want to know what happens to the mice," he whispers again, covering his mouth with his hand, hoping that no one else but Liam will hear.

Liam scoops him, fully turning him to Harry, "You should ask Harry then. And say please, that's his book and he is so nice to share it with you."

Niall bites on his lip, trying to get away, but Liam holds him still, "Come on, it's not that hard, Ni. Just ask, it's okay."

It takes a while, but in the end Niall politely asks for Harry to keep reading. He repeats "Please" two or three times, and it's one of the longer sentences Liam has heard from him, he couldn't be happier.

Harry nods enthusiastically at him, already looking for the page he stopped at, when Liam asks Louis the same question. "Do you want him to read too, Lou?"

Louis nods his head, hoping it will be okay, but Liam decides that if Niall was able to talk, Louis can do it too, they usually work together, it's not fair to leave him behind. "So ask him," he prompts.

He is really proud of him when Louis doesn't wait to be told twice and copies the same words Niall had used, even the too many repetions of "please".

At some point during the story, Zayn excuses himself, coming back just as Harry is finishing the book, with three cones of ice cream.

"It's chocolate, Harry's favorite and I guess you all deserve a prize, since you have been such good kids, right?"

Liam nods, accepting one of the three cones and putting it in Niall's small hands, teaching him how to lick it. Of course as soon as he tries, Niall plasters it all over his face, making Harry laugh and even Louis seems to find it funny.

"Lou, you okay over there?" Liam asks once Zayn has given the other cones to the other children.

Louis nods, he always nods when someone asks him something, but he doesn't dare lick it, he just stares while the ice cream melts on his hands.

"Can I help you?" Zayn asks and for a moment Louis looks at Liam, almost begging him to do something. And Liam doesn't really know what to do, again.

"Daddy is the best!" Harry says, "He taught me how to eat without leaving stains on my shirt, see? He can teach you too. Besides, Mister Liam isn't doing a great job here," he points out, pointing to Niall's once blue shirt which is now sporting drops of chocolate ice cream. Shit.

"Help, please?" Louis asks, handing Zayn his ice cream and as soon as he wipes his hands with the tissue Zayn hands him, he climbs on his legs, and Liam widens his eyes. He must be dreaming!

They eat the ice cream in silence, apart from Harry rambling now and then about something.

At some point Liam looks at his phone and fuck, it's almost noon and he hasn't even thought about lunch. "I'm sorry, we have to go," he says, putting Niall down and grabbing his backpack and his brothers' hands, "Hope to see you again."

 


	2. What's wrong with Niall?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Basically it's just Liam and the kids having a raugh day and... oh, HU Zayn, what are you doing? And why do you look so sexy wearing a scrub?

Liam has been thinking about Zayn every day after they met. No, not in a romantic way. Honestly, a love story is not even in the picture right now. Not when Daniel, his ex boyfriend, left him when the kids came in the picture, deciding that he was too young to have and take care of kids. He is twenty two and, honestly, Liam can't blame him, he is two years older and he feels like it isn't right to take care of kids at his age. He doesn't blame Daniel, but he is still hurt about what happened and, besides, he doesn't have time to date.

He has been thinking about Zayn in a whole different way. He has been thinking about how he interacted with Niall and Louis, how Zayn's son had been able to actually talk to them. After that morning together, Louis and Niall seemed more confident, they are speaking a little bit more, asking for something when they need it. Yes, they still sleep with Liam, but their beds have been wet just one night in five nights and that's a bonus.

"Li," Niall calls, pulling at his pants to catch his attention.

"What's wrong, boys?"

"We wanted to ask you something," Louis states and, soon after, they fight for a while, deciding who should ask the question and Liam just waits, while they push at each other's arm.

"What about together?" Liam decides. "I count to three and then you two talk." It's not new, it's the only way to make them talk sometimes. Awkwardly enough, almost always, they say exactly the same words.

And now was no exception, "Can we go to Harry tomorrow?" What they mean is the park, in the hope that Harry will be there.

"Tomorrow is Friday, we can go to the park, but Harry won't be there. He goes to school, remember? I told you yesterday. He'll be there on Saturday and we'll definitely go to the park then," that's what Liam remembers at least, he just hopes he'll find them again. "Sound fair?"

They nod, quietly climbing on the chairs next to Liam, looking at his computer. "What are you doing?" Niall asks, staring at the screen, turning his head to cough in his hand.

"Working, little one," Liam explains.

He is working for a culture journal right now, writing his own articles from home since he can't actually do anything else, not trusting a babysitter around his kids. They'll be more stable somday and then, maybe... But for now, it's just too soon.

"Do you want me to read this to you?"

Louis nods as always, while Niall shakes his head, coughing again and startling both Liam and his twin. "Everything good, Ni?"

"Tired. Wanna sleep."

Liam frowns, but, in the end, he allows Niall to go sleep on the couch. "Turn the TV on if you want to," he says, but Niall doesn't. He just climbs on the couch, hugging his bear.

Liam reads to Louis, still trying to figure out if he can follow him from the pc or if he doesn't recognize the words on the screen. The kids still need to go to school, he remembers, making a mental note to finally call the school tomorrow.

He saves what he has written, still thinking that it doesn't sound good, and goes to try and fix the kids some lunch.

He brings Louis in the kitchen and sits him on a chair, looking for something in the fridge. In the months they spent together he had noticed that Louis loves pasta, while Niall prefers meat. They both eat everything, luckly; but, just as every other child, they have their own tastes and it's probably good that they differ at least on this small thing. He decides to make them hamburgers and try to cheer Niall up, because the kid didn't look alright.

"Lou, go wake your brother and wash your hands."

The little boy nods, scrambling into the other room, but Liam doesn't hear the sound of the running water.

"Boys, I said wash your hands," he repeats, placing two plates full of food on the table and looking for them. It's weird that they don't do exactly what Liam told them. Actually it's normal, he remembers that his mom had to always yell at him to make Liam stop playing or watching TV. But, with them it never happens, they are always so scared about disappointing Liam that it hurts sometimes.

What he finds is a scared Louis who is standing on his tiptoes leaning over the couch, clumsily shaking his brother's shoulders.

"Louis what's wrong?"

Louis doesn't answer, fat tears running down his chubby cheeks, "Don't be mad, Li, please. Ni, please!"

Liam approaches them, putting his hand on Louis' shoulder and his brother shakes so hard that Liam has to retire his arm.

"Nee, please..." Louis keeps whining, but Niall doesn't seem to listen. His cheeks are flushed and his mouth open wide, he is barely breathing, his parted lips almost white, his eyes full of tears.

"Fuck!" Liam swears, which is something he never does in front of the kids. He quickly picks Niall up, grabbing Louis' wrist and leading him out. He barely remembers to grab his keys and closes the door and shows the kids in the car, heading straight to the hospital.

He thought that seeing Niall unable to breathe was the scariest thing ever. Just then, Niall passes out in his arms, right when he is bringing him in the hospital and Liam decides that it's even worse.

Someone takes Niall out of his arms and Liam barely manages to tell a nurse his name. He doesn't even know when he started to cry.

"You can wait here," another nurse tells him and Liam grabs Louis' hand, sitting on a chair in the waiting room. The nurse still fusses over him, trying to figure out if he is fine or not. Well, he isn't but he doesn't want her around, so he manages to smile, patting Louis' little head and she goes away.

After a moment he decides that he can't sit still, he has to walk. So he stands up, startling Louis who has been standing next to him the whole time and making him whine. The kid looks terrified and, fuck, Liam didn't even noticed.

"I'm sorry, Lou. Come here, come on. Why are you so scared?"

Louis hides his face into Liam's neck, silently crying.

"Lou, I'm sure Niall is fine. Come on, let's check on him," he says mostly to himself as he moves to the nurses' desk, asking for his brother.

"We still don't know mister, I am sorry."

"Okay," Liam sighs, rubbing Louis' back.

"Li don't be mad."

Liam looks at Louis confused. "I am not mad, Lou. I am just worried. Why should I be mad?"

Louis tilts his head a bit, staring at Liam to be sure that he isn't angry, "Dad was angry."

Liam bits his lip. The boys never talk about their dad, ever. This isn't the way he had been imagining them having a proper conversation about the twins' father, but they have to wait for Niall, and there is nothing better to do, so Liam lets his brother talk. "Why was he angry?"

"I'm like Niall and he was so mad. When mom and I came back from hospital he kicked us. Don't hurt us, Li."

"Oh God, Lou." He rubs his brother's head with the hand he isn't using to hold him, trying to calm him down. He knew deep down that something like that had happened. He should have guessed it sooner and he probably should have done something. Hearing it is still like a stab to his heart though. "I promise, I am not mad, Louis. Do you remember what happened in the hospital? Why you were sick?"

"Dunno. I couldn't breathe, like Ni. Mom said sick."

Liam just keeps rubbing Louis' back, walking back and forth in the waiting room, until a doctor comes in there asking for Niall's family.

"He was having a bad asthma attack, how come he had no inhaler with him?" The doctor asks.

Liam almost cries again. He didn't even know the kids had asthma. He doesn't answer, just listens carefully as the doctor explains that it's now under control, but he needs to come in and calm him down and especially no other kids are allowed.

"What? He is his twin, I can't leave him-"

"I am sorry but no kids are allowed."

Liam just blinks, wondering what he is supposed to do at this point. He can't exactly leave Louis, the kid has never been alone in these three months, he cries even when Liam takes a shower and leaves the him in another room. Niall must be crying too. Fuck.

"What can I do then?" he asks, sadly. He is a doctor, he is supposed to fix it, right?

"Carson!" a voice calls from behind Liam and he instantly turns, he knows this voice.

Zayn?

"Malik, look, there's a kid we can't stop from crying, he passed out and-"

Liam clenches his jaw, "You are talking about Niall, aren't you? Let me see him, I can calm him down. You are just scaring him!"

"Kids aren't allowed," the doctor, Carson, says again and Liam wants to kill him.

Liam is actually ready to punch him, when Zayn steps in their conversation, "That's right, Liam. Besides Louis would be scared to see his brother like this right now." He motions to his face, Liam guesses he means there are some sort of wires around Niall's face, an oxygen mask, maybe. Actually Liam has no idea, he has no familiarity with hospitals at all.

"Now, I think I have a solution, come with me, Liam."

"But-"

Liam wants to object but right now, Zayn seems like the only one who really wants to help, so he just waits for him to talk to his collegue and then he follows him, ignoring Carson's peetulant voice as he keeps rambling. He focuses on Louis, trying to pull his face from his neck and look at him in the eyes.

"Louis, please, I need your help right now," Liam says. He wouldn't ask if it wasn't necessary, but now, Louis needs to be a big boy.

"Ehi, Louis," Zayn calls, but the kid doesn't even aknowledges him, "Louis, do you want to play with Harry?" this seems to do the trick, because Louis' blotchy face snaps up and his bloodshot eyes cast on Zayn's face.

"Do you, Lou?" Liam asks, hoping that Zayn isn't trying to trick him.

"I just picked Harry from school," Zayn explains, "You know, when I work I bring him here, so he is not alone and I'm around if he needs something."

"Cool," Liam answers on autopilot, he still doesn't understand where 'here' is. A kid in the hospital?

Zayn opens a door and leads them into a room with four kids playing around a table. One of them is Harry who quickly stands up and hugs his dad, sending chills down Liam's spine. He still wishes Niall and Louis would act like that someday.

A young girl approaches them as Harry hugs his father's waist, she stays a few steps away and looks at them with a small smile on her face. She is cute, but Liam likes Harry and Zayn more, so he stares at them.

"Harry, look who's here," Zayn tells his son and Louis slowly turns around to look too, when Zayn asks if he wants to play.

Of course Louis doesn't answer and Liam sighs. They are just wasting a lot of time, time Niall is spending all alone and probably terrified.

"Liam, she is Evelyn. She volunteers here and takes care of some of the kids," Zayn explains, finally introducing the young girl, "She is very professional despite her age, I trust her with Harry, it should be okay to leave Louis here."

"It's not that. I don't think he would stay with anyone right now. He wants to see his brother."

"Yeah, I get that, Liam," Zayn seems annoyed, but Liam doesn't care. This rule is stupid, every one should be able to see his own twin.

"He can't see his brother right now and it's for his own good. Now, Lou, can you imagine how scared your brother is? And he is all alone." his voice is gentle, Liam imagines he talks like that to his own son and he is fucking great at that, a lot more than Liam. "So, why don't you play with Harry for a while and in the mean time Liam can stay with Niall and then you can all go home and cuddle?"

Louis doesn't seem too happy, but he is a smart boy, he knows Zayn is right, so he slowly nods and barely whines when Liam leaves him there.

"I feel so bad," Liam confesses as soon as the door is closed behind them. "I left him there."

"Come on, it's no different than leaving them to school," Zayn says and Liam sighs.

"They have never been to school," Liam says. At Zayn's appalled face he quickly replies, "Can we just... not talk about this? I am pretty worried here."

Zayn nods, looking for Niall's room on a paper the nurses have on the desk and guides him.

"I hope you aren't one of that overprotective parents who's easily frighten- wait, that's exactly what you are."

"Thanks. Really, you are so helpful. And you are supposed to be a doctor?"

"I am indeed. I just don't like when people react like you did before. You were thinking for yourself, it was you the one being scared of letting Louis go; it was you the one who wanted to keep him close, just because you could see him, while you didn't know what you would have seen in that room."

"It's not-" Liam protests, but fuck. That's fucking right. "What are you a shrink?"

Zayn nods, slowly opening the door, the air quickly filling with Niall's desperate sobs.

Liam stands in front of the door until Zayn pulls him inside.

His brother is half sitting half laying into his too big bed, crying so desperately that Liam is sure he isn't getting air at all. A nurse is standing over his small frame, holding something on his face and quietly trying to talk to him, but it looks like Niall isn't putting any effort into paying attention. His arm is tied to the side of the bed and there's a needle stuck in it. Liam feels sick at the sight, he almost wants to turn away and run.

"Doc, I am sorry we didn't know what to do- he won't stop crying. Doctor Mulligan just left, he had an emergency on third floor. Besides there is nothing he can do here, anyways."

Zayn nods grabbing the paper she hands with her free hand and reads, rubbing his jaw.

"He had a bad asthma attack."

"And I already knew that," Liam snaps.

"And if he doesn't calm down we won't know if he is alright."

"That's why we called you," the nurse explains, giving up on Niall and leaving him crying alone. "This is not a normal tantrum, like other kids would. And we read his previous records."

Zayn nods understanding, "You can go, Lara, I'm on it," he says, replacing her hand on Niall's face, holding the mask on his mouth.

"Zayn-"

"How old are you, Liam?" As he talks, Zayn slowly removes the mask from Niall's face.

"Twenty four," he answers, his voice raspy and shaky.

"Good. You are his guardian, right?"

Liam nods, then he figures that Zayn can't see him, since he is still turned in Niall's direction, pushing his hair off his sweaty forehead, so he says it out loud.

"Okay. Niall, could you please open your eyes? I want to show you someone."

Niall shakes his head furiously, Liam wonders again if through his swallow breaths he is getting air in his lungs, his thin hands clutch Zayn's for dear life.

"Come here, Liam. He hasn't even realized you are here."

Liam moves a step closer, standing right behind Zayn, looking at his brother with wide eyes. He can't, he simply can't. Niall is scaring him right now and he can't stand it. He thinks that the only reason why he hasn't run away is because his legs are shaking too much, he is like frozen then and there and there is nothing that he can do.

"Liam, come on, I need you right now," he hears Zayn say, but he can't comply.

For a moment all he can hear is the blood rushing trough his ears and he thinks he is going to pass out, until at some point Zayn's hands are cupping his face and he realizes he is sitting on Niall's bed.

"Can you hear me?"

Liam nods, not trusting his voice yet and Zayn quietly puts a cup of water in his hand. Liam swallows it down, looking around.

"Niall fainted, you were just following him."

"I'm sorry, I am a terrible brother."

"You have not enough experience, that's it. But when he wakes up, which should be anytime soon, you have to try and stay calm. He was having a panic attack, what happened to you was quite the same. Now imagine how it must be for a four years-"

"He is almost six."

"Fine, for a six year old boy. It's bad Liam, and we can't sedate him, so he needs to go through it. Liam he needs you right now, got it? You can hold his hand, but you can't come closer until it's him to reach for you."

"Okay. Then?"

"Then you talk to him. As soon as he wakes up, I am going to remove the mask from his face, it scares him, but when you calm him down I'll try to put it back. His lungs are still suffering and all this crying is doing no good to him."

Liam stares at his brother, watching as his thiny chest rises and falls shallowly "What if-"

"He is waking up."

Liam shuts his mouth and just waits.

Niall moves his hands faintly, then he slowly pries his eyes open. He stares blankly at the ceiling, then he seems to remember what's going on and his eyes go wide. After that it's a blur. He turns his head right and left, not really focusing on anything, his breath becoming rasp and laboured.

"Liam, talk to him," Zayn prompts, quickly freeing Niall's face and Liam tries to think about something to tell him. What are you supposed to say to a five years old kid lying in a hospital bed and scared to death?

"Hey, Ni," he calls, reaching for his hand and squeezing it.

"Tell him that you are here and that he should open his eyes, so he can see that everything his fine," Zayn prompts and all Liam has to do is to repeat his sentences, trying to sound like someone who believes what he is saying.

He doesn't do a great job, he can hear how his voice falters and how his hand shakes when he wraps his fingers around Niall's smaller hand, but it seems to be enough for his brother to slowly realize that he is no more alone.

Niall blinks twice before focusing on Liam's face, but when he finally does focus on him, his lower lip wobbling, he begins to mumble something incoherently.

"It's fine, Liam. You can touch him, just don't startle him too much, and pay attention to his arm."

Liam nods, rubbing his hand all over Niall's free arm, enjoying his brother's adorable face now that he has calmed down and is just staring at him as his savior, his chest still rising and falling quickly.

"Liam, the mask," Zayn prompts and Liam coos his brother until is face is covered again. He doesn't like it, but he is probably too tired to complain.

"Where's Lou?" he asks, his words barely recognisable beyond the mask covering half of his face.

"I think he can come in now. What about you stay here with Liam and I go get him?"

It's the first time that Zayn speaks directly to Niall and Liam is grateful about that, he would have say no, if the question had been directed to him. What if Niall starts to panic again? Zayn can't leave them, he is the only one who knows what to do.

But Niall nods thankful, tightening his grip on Liam's shirt and there is nothing that Liam can do about it. Zayn gives him a reassuring look and disappears.

"Niall..."

"I am sorry, Li. Don't shout at Louis, okay? He didn't do anything. Just my fault."

Liam sighs. "No one did anything, Ni. Not you, nor Louis, I promise. Everything is fine, you just have to get better." he waits for Niall to nod before going on, "But you have to tell me when you are not feeling good."

They have to sort these kind of things out. It's not normal that the kids are afraid to tell him when something is not okay.

When they first came home, Liam remembers how they spent all their time together, how Liam had to force them to eat, ask them if they needed the bathroom and even if they wanted to drink. It's hard to remember all these things for someone who has never taken care of other human being. Hell, Liam has never taken care of a plant, let alone more complex organisms. He didn't know he had to tell them these kind of things, back then it had been Daniel the one who helped.

And now they are alone and these kids are so small and scared.

Liam sighs, thanking Zayn when he comes back, sitting an over excited Louis next to him on Niall's bed and sitting with Harry in a corner of the room.

They spend the rest of the day like that, just talking which is something new for Liam, but for the first time new doesn't necessarly means bad.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooooooooooooo
> 
> Well, I am sorry for the bad description of Niall in the hospital, it reminds me terribly of the first time I saw my brother in the hospital, he was 2 and his tiny arm tied to the bed is the worst imagine I have in my mind, my eyes are watery even now, after more than 10 years...
> 
> Also, I am sorry if it's upsetting what Louis says, but remember that he is a traumatized kid and kids mind works weird sometimes, it's okay if he is scared of Liam right now, it's kind of normal.
> 
> Anyways, you'll get some answers in th following chapters, like... what's wrong with this boys? Why are they so fragile and small? And is Harry okay? (Maybe you'll have to wait for this, but don't worry I have all the answers!)
> 
> Are you enjoying this so far? What would you like to happen? Just curious...


	3. Too many informations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We finally get some informations about the twins. Poor kids :(
> 
> And we meet a new doctor here. Hope you'll like her!
> 
> Oh, and Zayn says to many you knows when he is uncomfortable

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ***
> 
> Here we are again. Are you enjoying the story? I mean, I love it. I love writing it and all, but I have so many ideas....... My head is going to blow up!
> 
> Love xx  
> Libs

"Liam we need to talk."

The last time someone pronounced those words, Liam found himself sitting on his couch with a bowl of ice cream for a day and a half, getting up only when he heard Niall and Louis crying because they were hungry and wet.

He is pretty sure that Zayn won't hurt him as bad as Daniel did, especially since they don't share a four years relationship and the kind of bond you have when you give your whole self to another human being, in every possible sense.

Still, Liam shivers at Zayn's tone, looking at his two brothers craddled into each other, peacefully sleeping. Their tiny fingers pressed against their slightly parted lips.

"What about?" he asks, his voice barely a whisper. If anything, he can say that he doesn't want to wake Louis and Niall.

Zayn stands up, "We should go outside, you know."

"I can't leave them, what if they wake up and I'm not here?" Those seem like reasonable words flowing from his mouth easily.

"Harry, could you please stay here and call us if they wake up? We'll be right over that door," Zayn says to his child, and, of course, the perfect little boy nods, his face serious, so proud of having a task like that to fulfill.

Liam has no choice but to follow Zayn, looking like someone who is just going to the gallow.

"So?" Liam prompts, leaning against the wall.

"So," Zayn echoes, "While you were talking with your brothers I had time. Time I spent, you know, reading their files. That's why they called me in the first place, I think. To calm Niall down and read that, but especially the second one."

It's like a cold shower. Liam knew that there were reports somewhere, he just didn't thought that everyone would be able to read them.

"What about that, Doc?" he asks defensively. He knows that Zayn can read his body language. He is a shrink, right? So Liam does his best to show anger and self confidence, but he is almost sure that all the other one can sense is fear. Pure and raging fear.

"Doc? I'm not Zayn anymore?"

"You are not Zayn, if you just read my brothers' records. What did you want to say?"

"You don't have to be so scared, Liam. It's just part of my job and trust me, I'd rather be sitting on a bench in the park with my son, than being here. But this is quite serious."

"You are a shitty doctor, you know?"

"I don't think so. I'm a children psychiatrist, I'm specialized to work with kids like Louis and Niall."

"They don't need a doctor. They are fine," Liam says abruptly, but Zayn's face is enough to make him regret his words. So he rephrases it, "Not fine, but... working on it. They don't need a doctor anyways, we can do that."

"I know, I just want to help."

"How?"

"Look, Liam, all I know for now is that your brothers' last medichal check up happened almost a year and half ago. They have some phisical conditions I want to be sure you are aware of."

"What kind of conditions?"

"You said you are their guardian. How come you don't know something basic like this?"

Zayn's words sound accusing and Liam covers his chest with his arms, in a futile attempt to shield himself from the truth. "I don't get your point," Liam mumbles before he can stop himself from sounding so childish.

Zayn frowns, "Liam, I'd like to talk to your brothers, but I need to know what I can and what I cannot mention with them. I need to know about their private life to try and make a bond with them."

"What if I don't want you around them?"

"It's nothing official, I promise. But it's for the best, Liam."

Liam is not so sure, but he has always wondered if they actually needed professional help and Zayn is here. Zayn was capable to help Louis at the park, to actually hold him into his arms and the kids seemed to enjoy his presence.

Maybe it's worth a try.

"They are not my brothers." Liam sighs. What a shitty start! "My dad died when I was nine, my mom met another man few days after I turned eighteen. By then I had already gone off to college. All I know is that she got pregnant and that's how the twins came in the picture."

"Okay."

"I think I saw them twice, three times maybe. I hated my mom for doing that to my dad, I hated that man for coming into my life. But, you know, Louis just told me their dad used to beat them, he probably did that to my mom too. I knew. Somehow I knew it was happening and I didn't- I was so selfish and these kids spent their whole life being scared because of that man."

"But they are with you now."

Liam wonders if Zayn is trying to calm him down, before he has another panic attack, or if he just wants to go on with the story. Whichever is the case, he decides to keep talking. "My mom died a while ago. Three months after her death, a woman came to my door, literally dumping Niall and Louis on my porch. She was a neighbour. My mom had given her my adress, my phone number and God only knows what else. She was the one who took care of Louis and Niall when my mom couldn't, some sort of old nanny. After Mom's death, she never got to see them, so she went to their home one day. Their father was nowere to be seen, the kids were half passed out on the couch. I don't know much more, they don't talk. The woman was so kind to feed them and clean them up, she let them sleep at her house and came to mine first thing next morning."

"So they have been with you since then."

"It's three months. I have never- I'm still trying to figure out how to handle them," he begins, then his mouth starts to spill whatever comes into his brain, "Then there is school, they have never been to school, not that I know. Harry was reading at the park, I don't know if they know how to read."

"Liam-"

"And medical checks up. I know they are too small, I'm trying to feed them and they eat so much, they just won't grow up. And they don't talk. I mean, they talk, pretty well for their age, but they are so shy! And so clingy. I don't know what to do."

At this point Liam is a crying mess and Zayn is giving him a concerned look.

"It's okay, Liam. One step at the time, that's why I am here. Now, first things first, I think Niall we be released tomorrow, he is fine, but you have to talk to Doctor Mulligan for that, he is the doctor who took care of your brother. He can probably give you an inhaler too, at least for now and you could use it on Louis too, if necessary. It looks like they both have mild asthma," at Liam's worried face he quickly adds, "But I'm sure it won't need to use it. You should find a pediatrician for the two of them."

"I don't- is there a good pediatrician here?" Liam asked.

"I'm sure there is, but I don't think you want to take them back in the hospital. I can give you the number of Harry's doctor. She is a nice woman, I'm sure the kids'll like her."

"Thanks."

"Do you think you want to know something about their files?"

"I don't want to, but... if there is something you think I should know, tell me. Just - I don't want to read, I don't even know if I'd be able to understand half of what they say."

Zayn nods, rubbing Liam's arm with his hand. "It's okay. There are a few things you'd better know and I'll make sure to inform the pediatritian too, okay?" Zayn carefully looks at him, trying to figure out if it's okay to talk. Liam's face is emotioneless, hence why Zayn keeps explaining, "Louis happens to be epilectic, it's due to a brain trauma when he was two. He has been on medication for a while, but there is not much information about it."

"Fuck-"

"It's okay. He should probably be checked out, and they'll give you meds. They usually work fine, especially on kids and the fact that in three months everything has been good even without any drug is good. Okay?"

"If you say so."

"He needs to be checked out soon, though. It's important. Now, do you want me to stop?"

"I need to know. I mean, I am the only adult at home with them, I should be well aware of all these things. Just go on."

Zayn nods, taking a deep breath, "Niall only has a working kidney, which is not an invalidating injury, but is something you should be aware of."

"I do too. I mean, I was born with one kidney. He is too, right? It wasn't-"

"His right kidney has been asported when he was four. That's all I know. I am sorry, Liam."

Liam doesn't answer, he is almost sure that if he tries to open his mouth, he'll throw up on Zayn and he doesn't want to add that to all the bad things happening today.

"And Liam, this doctor, the pediatrician, you know, she'll tell you if they need some kind of... help, you know. Just warning you."

"You already know they need help," He admits. He feels so sorry about them, "Zayn, they are good kids, they are so smart and sweet-"

"I know, I met them, remember? Now, is there anyone who is helping you with them?"

"Just me. We are fine."

"Look, Liam, if you-"

"I'm fine."

"I know, but just in case... I am no doctor for you, I'm just Zayn."

"Thank you."

\---

They go back home next morning, Niall cradled against his chest and Louis holding his hand so tight that Liam can't even open the door.

The kids are fine, there are lots of things to sort out, but they are home safe and they are good like this.

He fixes them breakfast, sitting in front of them with the most serious expression he can manage. "Boys, are you... enjoying being here?" They both nod forcefully, "You can be honest. If there is something you don't like, you know you can tell me, right?"

"We like here," Louis says. Liam has a feeling he is being too quick, like it's still forced, but Louis seems honest, especially when he asks, "Are we not good enough?"

"You are perfect, it's not that." Liam thinks about explaining the reasons behind his question, but they are only six, he isn't sure they'll understand anyway. So, he drops it. "Never mind," he says, "We are going out today, okay?"

"Harry?" Niall asks, his eyes full of hope and it hurts Liam to tell him that no, they aren't seeing Harry today.

"It's a friend of Harry's," he begins, shifting his gaze from a twin to the other, trying to decode their facial expression, "She is so nice and she really wants to meet you."

Zayn said they have an appointment at half past ten, he is the one who set it but he can't be there mostly because this has to be someething between Liam and his brothers, but if they have problems, his shift will be over at half past one and he can spend the afternoon with them, bringing Harry of course. He assures Liam that no help will be necessary, that Perrie is sweet and so good with children, but Liam can't stop his worries.

He spends a little more time deciding how to dress the boys. They don't have a lot of clothes, honestly. They came to Liam in their pajamas, but Daniel said it'd be better to get rid of them, they were old and stained and the boys probably didn't want anything to remember the time they spent with their dad. So he bought them something and Daniel gave him some of his younger brother's clothes along with a few other things.

Shoes, they only have a pair of shoes each which has never been a problem because they don't go out often. But now Liam figures that if they'll go to school they'll need more. Which is terrible. Due to being home so often, Liam is not actually working so much and two kids are pretty expensive.

He sighs not really knowing how to handle everything and throws a hand through the kids' heads, desperate to fix their hair and helps them put their jackets on.

"We'll walk, okay?" He could easily bring the car, but they are early and the weather is nice.

He holds they boys' hands and they are so small that their thiny arms are completely stretched, they are almost walking on tiptoes. More than once Liam has to tell himself to walk slowly, their legs are shorter but they never complain.

"Are we there already?" Louis asks at some point as Niall stumbles along the way.

"Just a few meters," he states, "Are you tired?"

"We are not," Niall hurries to answer, but Liam just rolls his eyes, stopping in the middle of the sidewalk.

"You can tell me if you are tired, remember?"

The boys look at each other, shrugging and Liam wishes he could peek into their little heads and understand what they are saying to each other with their eyes.

"Little bit tired,"Louis whispers and Niall adds a soft, "Never walk that much."

Liam crouches in front of Louis, picking him up and sitting the boy on his shoulders, then he scoops Niall into his arms and keeps walking. They reach the address Zayn had told Liam and he easily spots the big black doorway.

"Here we are, boys!" Liam cheers, putting Niall down and trying to balance Louis over his head and reaching out to take him down.

"Li?" Niall tucks his pants, clutching the fabric of his pants.

"What?"

"Can you pick me like Lou?"

Liam smiles fondly, "Sure! All the way back, I promise. You are going to be a good boy when we see this friend of ours, right?"

"Sure!" he smiles, looking for Liam's left hand and holding it, while Louis grabs his right one.

That's how they step into the big room where a couple of kids are playing sitting on a table, some other is asleep in their parents' arms and bored moms are reading magazines.

"Liam," Niall whimpers, "Don't like here. Home, please."

Liam can see all the signs of a tantrum, but there is nothing he can do, not when one of the two running kids loses his balance, stumbling right over Louis and bringing him down with him.

Before Louis' little bum touches the floor he is already bloodly screaming, everyone turning at them and of course Niall follows his brother into crying.

"Boys, please, come on," he whispers, helping Louis stand up, trying to explain that he isn't hurt and everything is fine. "Niall, you promised you'd be a good boy, did you?"

"I walk home. Please home," he whines, while the same boy who tripped Louis pulls at his hair slightly.

"Li, home!" Louis begs, clutching his hands like he is praying and bouncing on his feet.

He shifts his gaze from a kid to the other deciding who needs his attention more. He is turning to Niall, to shelter him from the boy who is pulling at his hair when a newborn begins to cry, startled from the whole turmoil and his mom sends Liam a killing look as she tries to shoothe the kid.

It seems that all the people give him a little time to calm the boys, but when they keep crying they start to whisper to each other about how a bad job Liam is doing. At some point they seem to decide that it's too much and a woman approaches them, tickling with her heels behind Liam's back.

"Are you going to shut them up?" she asks over the kids' screams. "Boys, look around! You are bothering everyone in here," she says and Niall and Louis blink at her, hiccupping.

"Worst parent ever. If my kids-"

Liam turns around before she can end the sentence, not wanting to know what she has to say and how she wants to blame him. Now, how is Liam supposed to tell this woman that he isn't a parent and that the kids are doing their best? It's not their fault that other kids were being wild and scared them.

That's when the door to the doctor's office gets open. A kid with long blond hair scrambles out, followed by a smiling woman and another woman with a white scrub. She has to be Zayn's friend, Liam wonders what kind of impression he is doing. Fuck, fuck, fuck.

"What is the problem?" She asks while the mom and her blond daughter go away, closing the door behind them.

"These kids are impossible! They came in and now everyone is crying," the same woman as before tells the doctor and Liam grunts, waiting to defend himself and his brothers.

"You must be Liam," the doctor says, smiling nicely at him as he rubs Louis' back, trying to make him shut up. "And these beautiful boys are Louis and Niall, right?"

"I am so sorry," Liam states, not knowing what to add.

"Hey, boys, do you want to see something?" the doctor says, moving away from them and disappearing into her office for a moment. When she comes back there is a book in her hands, "Harry told me you liked his story, was he right?"

She shows them the same book Harry had at the park and Louis and Niall slowly begin to calm down, curiously glazing at her.

"What if you sit over there?" she asks, purposely pointing to the empty side of the room, "And Liam can read it to you while you wait? I promise I'll be as quick as possible."

None of the boys makes a move to pick the book from the doctor's hand but they both look at it in awe until Liam steps up and takes it, motioning for the boys to walk to the seats.

The doctor brings in the next patient and Liam sits on a chair, sitting Louis on his left tight, Niall climbing on the chair on Liam's right, the book in his thiny hands. Liam begins to read quietly, Louis turning the pages when Liam tells him to.

Right now he doesn't care if the other parents are still looking at them, he doesn't pay attention to the other kids listening to his words. He is doing this just to Niall and Louis and they are so relaxed that he doesn't care about the rest of the world for once.

 


	4. Dinner together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zayn comes to Liam's being the good friend he always is... And Harry is more mature than anyone else here!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone who is reading or posting a commenting. Love you all! If you have an idea or want to see something, let me know! For now, I stick to the plot I have in my mind.
> 
> Enjoy!!!

 

_**Dinner together** _

When they came home the kids were exhausted. Liam forces them to eat something and allows them to cuddle on the couch and watch Mickey Mouse.

He waits impatiently for them to be asleep and then he picks his phone up, staring at them and chewing on his thumbnail.

This is exactly what Zayn had been talking about yesterday. It doesn't matter how strong Liam claims himself to be, he just needs someone to talk to before he goes completely crazy.

It's not that he wasn't expecting what the pediatrician said, it's just that he had tried to deny all the signs and when she threw everything on him, it was too much. She had tried to be gentle, but it didn't even matter, she said what she said and that's enough.

  
And now he actually needs to talk to someone, he decided as he looked for Zayn's number and called him.

  
"Hello?"

"Zayn? It's Liam. I- Are you busy?" he whispers, partly because he doesn't want to wake the twins, partly because he feels suddenly so tired, drained of all energy.

He can hear Zayn dealing with something over the phone, until he finally menages to say that, no, he isn't busy. "Do you want me to come over?"

"That would be awesome," he sighs in relief.

For a brief second Liam thinks that Zayn is acting like he knew what the doctor was going to say, which makes sense since he is a doctor too. But that doesn't mean that Liam doesn't feel betrayed that Zayn didn't tell him anything, a warning would have been nice.

But then again, he is being unfair. Zayn had warned him and assuread him he'd be there. He is coming here for him right now, he is actually caring. And it's something Liam isn't used to.

"Liam, still there? I need your address," Zayn calls from the phone and after Liam has answered, they hung up.

Zayn promised he'd be there in half an hour and that's exactly what he did.

He appears in front of Liam's door thirty minutes later, Harry standing next to him as excited as ever.

"Come in, please. The kids are-" he motions to the two sleepy boys wrapped around each other on the couch.

Liam hasn't told them that Harry was coming, he had left them on the couch not ready to face them yet and he is glad Harry is here. They love Harry, they'll be fine with him.

Is Liam seriously trying to lay his brothers' responsibility on a seven years old boy?

"Daddy, can I watch them, make sure they don't wake up alone?" Harry offers and Liam eyes him suspiciously, wondering how a little boy like him can be so mature.

Part of him thinks that Zayn has to be an amazing dad, another part tries to remember how he was when he was Harry's age and maybe it's not so healthy to act like an adult when you are so young.

Zayn shrugs, letting Harry sit on an armchair and following Liam in the kitchen.

"They have been good," Zayn points out, eyeing the two lollipops on the table, "Perrie gives them to good kids."

"If crying all the time and refusing to take their shirts off count as good, then yes, they have been incredibly good!"

Zayn laughs, "It was their first time, if she has been able to actually lay a hand on them they have been good enough."

Liam's face relaxes ever so slightly. It's not that big of a victory, but it's better than nothing. Still, it would have been better if they had actually talked to her, instead of cried on Liam's shirt.

"So..." Zayn begins sitting and placing his elbows on the table, awkwardly staring at Liam as he just as awkwardly shifts on his feet.

"So."

"Well, I called Perrie yesterday, just to let her know you were going."

"I know, she helped with the boys. They had a bit of a tantrum and she was amazing. Really, I understand why you like her so much."

Zayn smiles warmly, his face still serious, "What did she say?"

Liam gulps, staring at the cieling in the desperate attempt to stop the tears from flowing down his cheeks. "I have to bring them to a clinic on Monday, they have to be tested for a bunch of things," he begins slowly, but it's like the more he thinks about it, the worse it looks, "They'll take blood samples and I bet they hate needles, they hate whatever touches them and they are probably going to cry."

"Every child cry when they see needles, but I can tell you how I manage with Harry later. Now, what did she say again, why are you so worried?

"Mainly just that they are too small. She measured the. Height, weight, even their heads' measures which is kind of weird and it scared them a lot. Niall refused to let go of me until we came home. And it's not like I hadn't noticed how tiny they are, I mean they are half Harry's height and they almost have the same age."

It's surprising how Zayn just listens, without telling Liam a word, it's like he knows exactly what Liam is going through, like he knows that he has to talk right now, to ramble about things that only make sense in his mind. Because if he doesn't talk, he'll go crazy.

Maybe Zayn is just good at his job, Liam tells himself, pretending not to be impressed.

"She said it could be psychological," Liam keeps explaining, "They could be malnourished, but she seemed pretty sure it was something like small for gestation- You know what, I am a shit guardian, I don't even remember how she called it!"

"Small for gestational age. It means they were born like that, it's an endocrine disorder and it's not so bad, Liam. It's not good, but it could have been worse. I think they need to look through their previous medical records, all of them, not just what I saw at the hospital."

"That's what the doctor said."

"Good. Is that all?"

Liam rubs at his face, wishing he could say yes. Instead he keeps talking, "Louis has to do a CT scan, he should have done it a lot sooner and apparently he is just lucky nothing has happened yet. And I have to stay here until Monday afraid that something might happen to him. You know, I wanted to go to school today. I had to apply them there, I was so excited, Zayn!"

"It's okay. You can go there another day. Actually, you know what, Liam? We can go together, I am free on Thursday, and I have to drop Harry there anyways."

Liam smiles weakly, wiping his tears with his hands, "Thank you, Zayn, I mean it. And I am sorry. I really, really had to talk to someone."

"It's fine, Liam. No one can understand better than me and before you say that our situations are different, they are not so much. Trust me."

"What do you mean?"

"I don't want to talk right now. Now it's about you and your brothers, okay?"

Before Liam can say how thankful he is, Harry comes stumbling in the room, "Daddy, daddy!"

"Where is the fire, Harry?" Zayn asks smiling at his child, always so hyper.

"Daddy Louis woke up and he was waking Niall but I said no-no. Am I right?"

"Oh, well-"

"Daddy I know I am right! You don't wake someone if they are tired, do you? Besides I can play with Louis and Niall can sleep. He should sleep, right mister Liam?" at this he shifts his eyes from Zayn to Liam, his face turning from curious to worried in a second, "Why are you sad, mister Liam?"

"Harry, what did we say about asking personal questions?"

"That we shouldn't be rude, sorry, daddy. But I am not rude, I just don't like mister Liam crying. When you cry I feel sad and Louis and Niall are already sad, can't you see that? You shouldn't cry if you love them," he states.

Liam guesses it makes sense for a kid.

"Enough, Harry. Why don't you go play with Louis if he woke up?"

Harry purses his lips, impossibly disappointed and slams his foot on the floor, but then he scrambles away not bothering to say anything and Zayn lets him go.

"I am sorry, Liam, sometimes he is not so sensitive."

"He is a kid. Besides he is perfectly right, I am-"

"Do not say again you are a bad guardian or else I'm going to kill you!"

"Nevermind. But seriously, thank yo-" Liam is cut off by Niall's piercing screams, the inevitable sign that he didn't want to wake up yet.

Liam rushes to the living room, Zayn following close behind.

Niall is sitting on the couch, his legs crossed and his hands rubbing at his eyes, Louis is quietly talking to him, trying to coax him into cuddle with his bear; Harry stands in front of him, his lips aren't moving, but he is humming some lullaby Liam vaguely remembers.

They are doing their best and Liam appreciates it, but he has learned that when Niall wakes up crying the only way to make him calm down is to pick him up and walk back and forth until he is tired of his own cries, and then he just clings to Liam for the rest of the day.

He sighs, giving Zayn a sad look while craddling his brother on his chest, his little hands instantly wrapping around the fabric of Liam's shirt.

Usually when things like this happen, the other twin starts to cry too, but Liam is pleasantly surprised that right now Louis is too busy talking to Harry to bother about his brother.

At some point, after Liam has already walked to the door and back three times he stops. "Are you going to keep following me?" he asks to Zayn, who has been creeply walking behind them.

Zayn laughs, not really answering his question, "Do you have plans for tonight?" he asks instead.

"Plans? Does it look like I have time to make plans?" he almost laughs, "Not that the situation bothers me."

Or better, it does bother him sometimes to basically have no life apart from the kids, but he can't stop taking care of them, so it's fine. It has to be.

"Good. Harry wanted some pizza, and we are already here, we could eat together?"

Liam chews on his cheek.

It would be nice, honestly. The first normal day in three months; Zayn is the first adult he talks to in months and he hadn't even realized how he missed company. Eating together would be more than nice, but... what if Liam gets used to this and then Zayn just goes away? That's what Daniel did after all.

Luckly for him the kids answer for him. Harry and Louis both stand up and while Harry jumps up and down begging his daddy to please, please let him stay at mister Liam's home, Louis looks at Liam with pleading eyes, he almost wants to ask the same, he just doesn't dare to. Even Niall stops whining, he just stares at Liam with his thumb in his mouth, the same expression of his brother.

"I guess it's a yes!" Zayn smiles, clapping Liam's shoulder.

"So pizza it is. Niall, can I put you down? I need to call or else we won't eat."

Niall waits for Liam to put him down and scrambles to Louis, grabbing his hand and looking at his feet.

"Can we play until dinner, daddy? I'll make sure that they won't get upset, I promise. Do you want to play, Niall? We were playing Power Rangers. I am the-"

"Niall likes blue. He always likes blue."

"Good. So I am red, Louis is green and you are blue. Okay?"

"Okay."

"They are cute, aren't they?" Zayn asks, snapping him out of his trance.

He nods furiously, "They are actually playing. Talking. Zayn, I have never heard them talking so much!"

\---

Dinner is a mess but it's impossibly nice.

Louis and Niall splatter tomato sauce everywhere, Liam spends more time clening their hands and faces than eating and Zayn eyes them sadly.

Liam writes a mental note to ask him later. Zayn knows everything about Niall and Louis, he has been so helpful... Maybe Liam could help somehow. Or maybe he is just curious, but Zayn doesn't need to know this.

It's still early when the kids fall asleep and Liam and Zayn have some time alone. They watch a movie and sip a beer or two and it's so comforting. Liam realizes just now how much he had missed things like this.

"Liam, I was wondering... I like spending time with you, Harry loves your brothers. Would it be bad if we... you know, hang around each other more? Like, go on a date or something?" Zayn asks out of the blue.

"Are you drunk?"

"What? No. Nevermind."

Liam sighs. It would be good, it's jut too good to be true. "I don't know if I have time for dating. What about them?" he points to the boys curled on the couch in front of them, sleeping fondly.

"You'll manage. We'll manage, I have a son, remember?"

Which brings the subject up, "Doesn't he have a mother he can stay with?"

"His mom didn't want him," Zayn states simply. "Are you turning me down or just curious?"

"Just curious. Well, you know what I have on my plate, if you are ready to stick to them... I can't see why we couldn't."

"Great," Zayn whispers, leaning into Liam and pressing a small, almost shy kiss on the corner of his lips. "I should take Harry home."

His breath tastes of beer, Liam notices. Beer has never had a better taste! And that's all Liam can think about the whole night.

 


	5. Harry's mom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We finally (finally? Actually I don't think you were curious...) know who is Harry's mom. And we can all imagine Liam's reaction (Again, why would we imagine it?)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mmmhhhh actually I am very curious of what you think.
> 
> I mean, I like this story, for once I am proud of it because I have so many ideas... I am just afraid I might sound annoying when I describe something (like... who wants to read something so boring? But then I get frustrated if I skip a description, because it looks like it's important!) So yeah... let me know if my way of writing is annoying.
> 
> Also, what do you think that will happen now?

Liam is dating Zayn Malik. He can't stop thinking about it and he woke up with the very same thought on Monday.   
  
  
It's early in the morning. Liam is supposed to meet Zayn at eight 'o clock in front of the clinic the pediatrian gave him the address. Zayn said he'd drop Harry at school a little bit earlier, which won't be a problem since he always does that due to his working schedule. Liam feels sorry for the poor kid who has to spend so much time at school and promises to buy him lots of ice cream for that, but he is glad Zayn has decided to stay with him.   
  
  
He knows for a fact that Zayn's day off is Saturday, but still he decided to take a day off and stay with them. Liam really doesn't know what he has done to deserve so much luck into his life all of a sudden.   
  
  
He wakes his little brothers up and helps them shower and get dressed. Louis is good at showering, he doesn't complain when Liam accidentally spills water over his face and he doesn't cry when soap burns his eyes. Niall seems to be scared of water, however. While Niall can dress himself almost on his own - he still doesn't know how to tie his shoes - Liam has to do all the work for Louis, who gets tangled with his arms into his shirt every time and still doesn't know how to balance himself on one leg to put the other through the pants.   
  
  
"Where are we going?" Louis asks when Liam makes him wear his hoodie, he is used to be in his pajamas when they stay at home, so the fact that Liam is getting him dressed up makes him suspicious.    
  
  
Liam still doesn't know if he should warn them and not let them freak out when they recognize something similar to a hospital, or wait and not hear them complain the whole ride. Before he can decide, Niall whines, "I want to stay home."   
  
  
"Home is comfy," Louis nods, "We like here better."   
  
  
"I know you do. But we are going to meet Zayn now, and you'll stay with Harry later. Don't you want to see him?" They shrug and it's better than what Liam expected, so he adds, "It isn't fair that Harry always has to come here, right?"   
  
  
"Are we going to Harry's home?"   
  
  
"Not exactly." He sits on the bed next to Louis, patting the empty spot on his left and waiting for Niall to climb up the bed. "Do you remember the nice woman we met on Friday?"   
  
  
"You mean the doctor."   
  
  
"Yes, exactly. Now, remember what she said about earning other candies?" It's how the doctor had tried to sugar coat the pill, assuring the boys that if they behave they would earn candies.    
  
  
"I don't want candies," Niall begins, already chewing on his small thumb and Louis confirms, "I don't either. Can we stay home?"    
  
  
"Please, home."   
  
  
"I am sorry, guys, I can't do that. We have to go."   
  
  
They begin to cry so hard that Liam wonders if he should actually just let them stay. He rubs his chin with one hand, trying to sort things out, until he decides that no, they aren't winning this time.   
  
  
So he just grabs their hands and forces them off the bed, taking their coats and leading them to the car.   
  
  
"Why are you mean?" Louis half whispers and it breaks Liam's heart into milion pieces.   
  
  
"I am not mean, Louis. I did it for you, okay? Don't be mad at me."   
  
  
"We aren't mad," Niall reassures him, "We just want to stay home."   
  
  
"And we'll go home soon, I promise. Can you be brave just for a while? Nothing scary will happen and I'll stay by your side all the time. You don't have to be afraid."   
  
  
They don't look too happy, but at least they aren't screaming anymore, so Liam considers it as a victory.    
  
  
They would have been late if Liam hadn't woke up half an hour before his alarm went off. Instead, they are perfectly on time, parking in the hospital lot a few minutes before eight.   
  
  
Zayn is already there, a warming smile on his lips.   
  
  
"Everything good?" he asks.   
  
  
Liam grabs his brothers' hands walking inside, shrugging when Zayn notices their tear stained faces and the way their little bodies seems to be stiff, like they were the first time they met.   
  
  
"Hey, Niall," Zayn calls, stretching his arms out, waiting for him to ask to be picked up or at least motion for it.   
  
  
Of course all Niall does is to glance at him briefly, before getting closer to Liam and keep walking with his head down. He shoves his thumb into his mouth again and Louis, on the other side of Liam, is doing exactly the same, trying to glance at his twin without turning his head.   
  
  
"I am sorry, I don't know what's wrong with them today," is all Liam says. He knows he should probably ask for Niall to apologise, but he doesn't want to push the boy too much, the poor kid is still forcing himself not to cry, he is doing his best.   
  
  
He signs some papers a nurse gives him, barely able to use his hand while the kids are clutching him and really, it's not even that scary to be here. The place is kid friendly, all coloured and nice, with cartoons painted on the wall and toys in the waiting room and everything that could distract kids, but Niall and Louis don't even glance at what's sorrounding them.    
  
  
They just keep sniffling, not even mumbling to each other as they always do and that's breaking Liam's heart. "Do you think we'll have to wait long?" he mouths and Zayn shakes his head just before a nurse with a nice pink scrub calls for them.   
  
  
"Hi," she smiles, trying to be extra nice once she notices how scared they are. She croutches in front of them, greeting the kids. "My name is Eleanor. Want to tell me your names?"   
  
  
"Guys, please, be nice and answer her," Liam pleads, trying to pry Louis' face off his leg with no success, "Just your names."   
  
  
Eleanor slowly stands up, motioning for them to follow into a room and Liam sighs when he realizes that the first thing they are going to do is to take blood samples, which sounds reasonable since the kids still haven't had breakfast, just as instructed.   
  
  
"Who goes first?" nurse Eleanor asks almost apologetically.   
  
  
Now, if it was for Liam, he'd preserve both of them, but he can't just stand there and wait. He has to do something, it's not like they can stay here the whole day, it's just a loss of time for everyone in the clinic and a useless way to make the kids freak out.    
  
  
"Okay, Louis, you go," Liam decides, picking him up as he has decided that Niall was in the hospital last week, so he is the one who has more reasons to be scared. The main issue now is that he can't properly hold Louis, with Niall still holding onto his leg.   
  
  
Thankfully Zayn comes to the rescue, prying Niall off him, despite his protests. He is smart enough to turn the kid's face, so that he can't see as the nurse stabs Louis' arm with the needle; he even tries to talk to Niall and Liam tries to focus on his voice the whole time. Even if he can't get much of what he says over the screams of his two brothers, his calming tone is nice, or at least better than the bloody yells of the twins.   
  
  
When the nurse releases Louis' arms, the kid looks at Liam panting, his eyes still watery, his lower lip trembling. He gives Liam a look of pure hate, like Liam has just betrayed all his trust and it's the worse thing Liam has ever seen. Though he was sure that he had already witnessed awful things in the last few months, nothing could have prepared him to this. He doesn't know how he manages to not cry, but the first thing he does is hold Louis tight, whispering into his ear that he is sorry and that he won't let this happen again, even if he knows it's not true.   
  
  
Louis' crying slowly calms down, leaving him exhausted and before Liam can recover, the nurse approaches Niall, still cradled into Zayn's arms.   
  
  
For a moment Liam thinks it'd be better if Zayn just held him during the whole thing, but neither Zayn or Niall are willing to let this happen, so he has to hold a terrified and screaming kid for the second time in the last ten minutes.   
  
  
"Okay, so this is your room for today. You can all stay here, someone will come in a while."    
  
  
"For what exactly?" Liam asks, running his hand through Niall's messy hair.   
  
  
The nurse shrugs, "They have a few exams scheduled for the day. I do not know the details, but I can assure you that the worse is already done," she smiles sympathetically and leaves.   
  
  
For a few minutes Liam just stands there, his hand still moving into Niall's hair almost mechanically, while Zayn is sitting on a bed next to Louis, rubbing circles on his back, while he cradles the arm where the nurse applied a blue band aid.   
  
  
"This is awful," Liam sighs, not really knowing what else to do, "Do you happen to have an idea of what we are waiting for?"   
  
  
Of course Zayn nods, "I spoke to Perrie yesterday. She has already done most of the basic trial on Friday, but she'll probably do it again as soon as she comes. She spoke about some X-rays and you already know that Louis has to do a CT scan. Don't think there is something else."   
  
  
"Good. Great, actually. Heard that, boys?" Liam says cheerfully, patting Niall's cheek, "Hey, are you still mad?"   
  
  
"Not mad. Miss home."   
  
  
Liam sighs, sitting Niall next to his brother, letting them be. The kids haven't been together the whole time, but as soon as they touch each other's hand, they seem to relax.   
  
  
They stare at each other, doing that twins thing where they talk through their eyes; Louis presses his face into Niall's neck, patting his cheek with his free hand and Niall half hugs him, with his own free arm.   
  
  
"It's fine," he whispers so faintly that Liam isn't sure if he isn't just imagining it, "Don't cry," he adds, fighting back his own tears and it's the sweetest thing Liam has ever seen.   
  
  
"I'll go ask if they can eat something," Zayn offers, excusing himself from the room.   
  
  
"Boys, why don't we play for a while?"   
  
  
Niall looks at him through Louis' locks and Louis turns his head. They just stare, as always.    
  
  
So Liam steps away, looking on the shelf with a few toys. There's Scrabbles, Monopolies, but Liam thinks they'll be too difficult for the little boys. Then he spots a small pack of Legos and decides they are his best option.   
  
  
"Have you ever played Legos?" he asks showing the yellow box.   
  
  
This seems to do the trick when the boys shift a little bit, fixing their eyes on the box.    
  
  
Liam helps them sit with their legs crossed and their backs against the headboard. They are so tiny that they fit perfectly, there is still a bit of place, so he is sure they won't fall, and then he sprawles the pieces all over the sheets.    
  
  
"Don't put them into your mouth, okay?" Liam warns. He is pretty sure that kids at six don't chew on toys anymore, but the boys have a tendency to chew their bears, so he can't be sure.   
  
  
At this point Zayn is back in their room, with chocolate milk and some biscuits. "It's not time for breakfast, but the nurse gave me these for you," he tells the boys, using a straw to puncture the plastic box before pushing it into their hands, leaving the biscuits on the bed between them.   
  
  
In the mean time, Liam begins to assemble a small house and Louis and Niall stare at him in awe. "Do you like it?"   
  
  
They nod furiously, showing more interest than they have showed the whole day and Liam quickly disassembles it, pushing some pieces closer to the boys and tries to explain them what to do. He grabs one piece at time, helping them find the same one and shows them how to pull them together.    
  
  
The boys slowly make themselves comfortable, slowly relax and it's almost like they are at home, when the same nurse comes back in, quickly followed by Perrie.   
  
  
"Oh, you are having a good time, I see!" Eleanor smiles and Louis and Niall instantly drop their half built house, staring at the two women in worry.    
  
  
Perrie smiles at them, stepping closer to Zayn who has been quietly standing next to the window the whole time and kisses him on the cheek. "Harry at school?"   
  
  
Zayn nods and drops the question, asking what's the schedule for the twins. Liam feels like he has some kind of urgency into leaving Harry out of the conversation. There is something, Liam can feel it, but he can't quite put his finger on it. Yet.   
  
  
Perrie takes Louis for his CT scan; Liam has to fight a bit to be allowed to stay with him, but in the end both nurse and doctor decide that the kid is too restless to be left alone.    
  
  
He leaves a whimpering Niall alone with Zayn, reminding him of when Liam had to leave Louis alone to stay with him to stop him from crying and promising him he won't be away too long and goes with Louis, taking him into his arms the whole time, since he refuses to stay in the small wheelchair the nurse had brought.   
  
  
The room is white, small and scary, even for Liam. When he lays Louis down, he keeps his hand on his left ankle, stroking it gently just to let him know that he is still here. Even while he goes into this scary, scary machine Louis behaves. He is a golden boy who stays still the whole time and acts so good that Liam wonders what's going on. He was waiting for him to get crazy. Instead, Louis is quiet and sweet.   
  
  
As soon as the nurse tells him he can move, Louis crawls on the bed until he is safe into his arms. "I was good, please don't leave."   
  
  
"I won't leave, Louis. Who said I'd leave?" he asks in disbelief, kissing his head.   
  
  
Louis melts into the hug, "Nurse said you aren't allowed in here if I cry."   
  
  
Liam glares at the nurse who smiles apologetically, "It worked, didn't it?"   
  
  
"Do not do that ever again," he states, turning to the doctor to ask if it's okay to go back into their room.   
  
  
It's almost lunchtime, as Louis' stomach warns them and in fact when they come back in the room, Niall is crying and Zayn explains that he is hungry and lunch hasn't arrived yet.    
  
  
Zayn is walking across the room, with Niall cradled into his arms, rocking him a little, doing his best to calm him down.    
  
  
"He isn't hungry," Liam explains, exchanging Louis with Niall, "He is moody, which is different."   
  
  
"Liam, I should go to Harry's school. I am sorry to leave you here, but- He usually stays at school until later, but this week lessons end earlier."   
  
  
"It's fine. Thank you again."   
  
  
"We'll be back in a bit."   
  
  
The promise of having Harry with them is enough to make the boys go quiet and, after a while, lunch arrives and things seem to be normal again.   
  
  
They basically just have to wait until Perrie comes and collects them for the last X-rays.   
  
  
When the doctor comes in, it's almost five in the afternoon. Louis and Niall are half asleep and Harry is doing his homework.   
  
  
As soon as the door opens, the bright kid hops off his chair and runs to hug her.    
  
  
"Hi, Mummy!" he says so loud that it startles Niall and Louis.   
  
  
Liam just blinks, looking from the magazine he had been reading, to them and then to Zayn who frankly looks like he wants to disappear.   
  
  
"Hi, champ!" Perrie smiles, trying to fix his curly locks with her hands. "I didn't know you'd be here."   
  
  
"I am Lou and Ni’s friend, I came to keep them company. They are so little, Mummy."   
  
  
"They are not that little, Harry and you don't have to say those things, okay?" she smiles, turning to Zayn, "I didn't know you'd spend your day off here."   
  
  
Zayn shrugs. Seriously, all he does is shrug and Liam doesn't get it. He had been so nice and caring and he failed to mention that Harry's mom, which means his girlfriend, wife or whatever is the doctor currently taking care of his brothers. And all he does now is shrug!   
  
  
He must have lost himself into his thoughts because next thing he knows Perrie is walking over to Louis and Niall, helping them step off the bed.   
  
  
Liam follows mechanically to her routine, waiting silently until they are checked out and picks one of the twins into his arms, not wanting to wake them up again after they have been so stressed out. He doesn't bother to ask for help, just tries to scoop the other twin into his arms too.   
  
  
"You are going to wake them both," Zayn warns, helping him adjust Niall into his hands and picking Louis.   
  
  
"Can I go say hi to mummy again?" Harry asks, crossing his hands in front of his face in a prayer.   
  
  
"You already said hi, Harry, let her work," he says a bit too urgently as he grabs his son's hand and walks with Liam, doing his best to keep his pace.   
  
  
"Hey, Liam! What's wrong?" he asks when Liam shuts the door of his car closed, after both his brothers have been put inside. Harry is staring with wide eyes.   
  
  
Liam crosses his arms over his chest, "I don't know, Zayn. Do you think you have done something to piss me off?"   
  
  
"Honestly? Nope."   
  
  
"Fine, then you don't have to worry. I’m tired, I just want to go home and not see your face again!" he shouts and maybe he is being just a little bit too loud. Or maybe a lot louder than he should be, but it has been a horrible day and he is so stressed out and Zayn just- Fuck!   
  
  
With that he opens the door on the driver side and steps into it, barely looking at Zayn and a now crying Harry.    
  



	6. Get to know each other

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So here we have Harry's story. And something I wrong with the twins but it looks like Liam can't quite put a finger on it...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! So... how does it sound so far?
> 
> I am especially worried about this chapter because there are a lot of informations, especially about Harry and Zayn and it might sound confusing.  
> All I want to say is that as much as it sounds awkward, it's based on a real story. So, yeah, things like this do happen.
> 
> Hope you like it!
> 
> Libs_

Liam was angry.

Actually he isn't sure of why anymore. It's not like Zayn did something wrong. Or maybe he did. He was the one who decided to start a thing, whatever it is supposed to mean, but he failed to mention that he still has contact with Harry's mother. It hurts, he can't help it. It doesn't matter how much Liam tries to rationalize what he just discovered, he felt betrayed.

It's when he wakes up at three in the morning to a crying Louis that he realizes that no matter how angry he was, he didn't have to yell in front of Harry like he did. His brothers were asleep, but Harry saw him shout at his dad and the kid had been crying when Liam went away.

He feels like the worst person in the world.

And of course, Niall wakes up too, and it takes forever to make them sleep again. By then Liam is fully awake, so he has a few hours to think about it and decide that he has to apologise.

No wonder Zayn doesn't pick up when he tries to call next morning. Liam has patiently waited for the sunrise, he didn't want to wake Zayn in the middle of th night just because he felt guilty. He figured Zayn'd be up at half past six, so if he doesn't answer it means he is probably angry. And obviously Liam doesn't know where he lives. How did they even start seeing each other like this? Liam should have known better, he knew nothing about Zayn.

He could ask the doctor for an adress, but he isn't sure what the woman knows about them or what she is supposed to know and Liam doesn't won't to make his position even worse.

Maybe he can go to the hospital and ask for him? Though it's not the best idea to bother Zayn on his workplace.

Then something snaps into Liam's mind. School. Zayn has to take Harry to school and he does it a bit earlier than other parents. Liam could go there and maybe it's the right moment to talk about his brothers' education too.

It's in moments like this that he wishes he'd have someone to look after Niall and Louis. Instead he has to wake them, fighting against their sleepy sad faces, dress them up trying to figure out why they are so quiet.

"Uhm, I need to talk to Zayn, okay kids?" he explains, buckling them in the car, "I just need you to be good for a while, can you do that for me?"

They stare at him, but stay silent during the whole ride. It's half past seven by now and there are just two cars in the parking lot. Hopefully Zayn will be here soon, Liam tells himself.

"And now we wait," he says out loud, not even sure if the boys are listening at all. They have been acting weird and it's something Liam should take care of.

Moments later Liam spots another car parking near the main entrance, Zayn and Harry walking out.

He quickly gets out, barely remembering to let the twins get out too and yells for Zayn.

"What are you doing here?" he asks angrily.

"We need to talk."

"Daddy, I am late," Harry points out, pulling at his father's hand.

"It's not late, Harry," Liam tells him, "I am sorry for what I did yesterday and I want to apologise to you and your dad."

"And I want to go to school," he says again, staring, or better glaring, at Liam. He doesn't waste any time into greeting his brothers. Liam glances at them, just to find the kids quietly standing a step behind. It looks like they don't want to be involved into the conversation. Why aren't they happy to see Harry?

"Zayn, please I am sorry, I made a mistake, everyone does, right? I had no right to shout in front of Harry, I regret it. Just please, listen to me."

"Daddy, let's go. Now."

Zayn seems unsure as he shrugs uncomfortably shifting from Liam to Harry and back. "Look, just let me take him-"

"I'll wait here. I am sorry, Harry."

Liam won't define himself as someone who doesn't like to apologise, of course not. But he feels like he has never said so many 'sorrys' just in one morning. And it's just the beginning.

"Boys are you okay?" Liam finds himself asking, as he stares at the two boys. They have that scared look Liam hates with every inch of his body and they are torturing their hands with their teeth. "Hey, come on, talk to me," he pleads crutching and leaning forward to be eye level with them.

Before one of the boys can even make an attempt to explain, Zayn is back and Liam snaps back up, the kids almost forgotten.

"I was just startled, you never mentioned Harry's mom and I wasn't expecting it. And I was sad and tired and it hurt. I have no excuses, I know. It's just that we are just starting this thing and you know everything about me and I know nothing about you."

"I know everything about your brothers, I don't know about you. Liam, I don't even know what you do in your life, if you haven't realised."

"Oh."

"Yes, Liam. Oh," Zayn mocks him and if he sounds so disappointed he has a right to be. "And I am sorry, but I can't stay with someone who scares my son like you did. You left me in that parking lot with Harry crying, it doesn't work like this in a relationship. Besides I am late for work."

"Zayn!" Liam yelps, "You can't just walk away. I made a mistake, I apologised, I am new into this world, I- I am not good with kids, but I am trying here. Just give me a second chance."

Zayn stays still, not daring to look at Liam, fixing his eyes somewhere between Niall and Louis. "We shouldn't talk about this in front of your brothers," he says though it seems that he is just thinking out loud. But when Liam has almost lost any hope, he adds, "I think we should get to know each other at least. But I don't want my son involved into this anymore, at least not for now."

"It's fine, I understand. Just know each other. Good."

"Good, now I really have to go, I am sorry but my shift just began. See you?"

"I'll call you," Liam smiles, then he grabs Niall and Louis' hands and walks inside the school.

"Do you like here, boys?" Liam asks.

He knows well where the secretary is, he has done a couple of lessons here when he was still at University, mostly with kids in third grade, it was amazing. He wanted to be a teacher once. Who knows if he'll ever be able to.

Louis and Niall don't answer and Liam does is best to believe that they are just scared because it's a new place, so he tries to explains to them everything he knows. He tells them that Harry is behind one of the closed doors and that there are nice people who want to teach them lots of things, but they don't seem interested.

Liam spends almost an entire hour trying to explain to the secretary why the kids haven't been in school until now; then he talks to the director. He can't tell much with the kids listening and he doesn't trust to leave them somewhere, so he mumbles half sentences, trying to explain that they need some special attention. That they might be a bit difficult to handle and might miss some days for medical reasons.

In the end he just leaves with the promise to call back for more informations, even if it's almost sure they'll start on Monday.

Liam's first thought is that he needs to buy the boys a lot of things. Backpacks, first. Then there is the school uniform and lots of pens and pencils and rubbers. Oh, and something for their morning break. The kids have been living with pancakes and apples and now he needs something else. He'll figure it out once the doctor has had a consulence with a nutritionist and decide if they need a food plan to follow or he can just figure out what's their favourite snack.

And fuck!

"Boys, we forgot breakfast!" He realises, "Why didn't you say you were hungry?"

He gets no answer, so he just speeds home and gives them an earlier lunch.

"Louis, come on, eat it! There is sauce, you like it!" Liam begs, pushing the fork against Louis' closed lips. "Please, just one fork, you can do it!"

What scares him even more than the fact that for the first time the boys are refusing to eat, is that they barely move. Louis is not throwing the fork away, he doesn't complain. He just stares with a blank face.

He tries with Niall but the result is no different. The little boy fixes his blue eyes behind Liam's back and doesn't open his mouth.

"Okay, can you please talk to me? No? Then what about we watch TV and we can try eating in a while? There is Mickey Mouse show!" He cheers, helping them out of their chairs. He has to grab their hands to make them walk and this has never happened.

Even when they first arrived, even when Liam couldn't make them talk, they always listened, always did what Liam told them to. And there was Daniel back then, at least he could talk to him, while now he is all alone with two unresponsive kids.

He sits them on the couch, Mickey Mouse playing on the screen, and decides to call him.

"Zayn?"

"Liam I'm still working."

"Oh. Right, I am sorry. Again. Yeah, I have lots of things to be sorry for."

"Liam what's wrong?" Zany asks at some point and it seems that he cares, it seems that he is back into being the amazing boy he met at the park.

"I am sorry, I shouldn't have called."

He hangs up before Zayn can reply and comes back in the living room just to find the boys in the same position, all curled up next to each other, their eyes so sad. Liam feels like crying because seriously, things were going better and now it looks like everything is going down and he can't survive all of this on his own.

He doesn't miss Daniel, really he doesn't. But he doesn't want to be alone either, he needs someone to be there for him right now and the saddest part is that he pushed away Zayn, the only one who was ready to be there for him. And if now he is alone it's his own fault.

And the kids will suffer another loss in their short life, because they liked Harry and they won't see him again and it's all Liam's fault.

He sits next to Louis and Niall. God knows for how long, tears stream down his face.

-

At some point someone knocks on the door and Liam almost thinks it might be that door to door sponsors, but when he finally decides to get up and open the damn door, he finds Zayn in front of him.

"You look terrible, Liam," he says letting himself inside. "It's not even worth it, we are fine, I overrracted. Now, we can talk about whatever you want."

"Where is Harry?" is the first thing that pops into Liam's mind. He feels so bad about him.

"He is with Perrie. And before you ask, I met Perrie at University. We were together when she got pregnant. When Harry was born we tried to live together, to be good parents. We were actually shitty at that, we constantly fought, forgot him everywhere and I am not kidding. We weren't ready to be parents. We were studying, we didn't have time and we weren't used to have kids around. I graduated three days after Harry's second birthday and that's when Perrie and I split up."

"Oh."

"She wasn't ready to be a mom and I wasn't so much into women. But Harry is just mine if you were wondering, I got full custody. He calls her mom, but Perrie is married now and she has a daughter. She is great at her job, I wouldn't have suggested to go to her otherwise, but we are just friends. Nothing more and especially nothing you should worry about."

Liam rubs his temples silently. It's a lot of informations, it's not necessarily bad, actually it's better than what he expected. The main problem is that he has been only half hearing him, he can't focus on Zayn knowing that something is wrong with his boys.

"Harry hates me," Liam says at some point, looking at Zayn through his parted fingers, still covering his face.

"Harry doesn't like when adults yell. As I said, Perrie and I have been terrible parents. It's our fault if he is like this," Zayn says.

"Harry is the perfect child," Liam replies. It's not just what you say to comfort a parent, Liam really believes it. He has been envying Harry since he met him, he is so healthy, so smart... Especially if he compares him with his brothers.

But Zayn doesn't seem to agree. "Trust me, he is far from perfect. It's not normal that he spends all of his Saturdays sitting with me on a bench. Kids should play with other kids and Harry doesn't have a lot friends, not even in school."

"I am sorry, Zayn, I didn't realize. It's- he is so lovely."

"Yeah, adults might find him lovely. For the other boys he is just someone who talks too much. He annoys other kids just because he feels like he always needs to talk. That's how you feel when you spend half of your life being alone."

Liam sighs, still trying to reassure him, but apparentely Zayn is not done. "Do you think it's normal how he acted with your brothers? He could be more a parent to them than you, no offence. It's just... He had to learn how to take care of himself, he used to step between Perrie and me and make us stop fighting, even after the divorce. He was so young and we did that to him! We literally stole his childhood and it doesn't matter how hard I am working right now, I can't give him back seven years of his life. He is scared and I am the one who hurt him. I can just make his future better and that's what I am trying to do. So, yeah, Liam... It's not so different from your brothers, is it?"

Liam stares in shock.

"Liam, did I come in a bad moment?"

Liam snaps out of his trance and blinks at him, "What do you mean?"

"The food," Zayn explains, pointing to the plates still on the table.

"Absolutely not, " Liam rushes to assure, "They have been acting weird today. I mean, weirder."

It's not easy to admit that the boys are, well... weird, but after Daniel has spent weeks trying to let Liam understand that it's exactly what they are, Liam figures it's okay to say it outloud sometimes. Just not around them, it wouldn't be fair.

"Liam, I don't think you should think those things, let alone say it out loud. Do you mind if I talk to them?"

Liam shrugs, "If you think you'll be able to make them listen, go ahead."

And so Zayn does.

He announces his presence when he is still far away from the boys and sits on a chair in front of them. Liam stands in the kitchen trying to figure out if he is supposed to follow Zayn or wait there.

He just observes the scene, trying to catch Zayn's secrets on how to approach little kids with some issues.

Zayn talks to them patiently, asking how they are, why they won't talk, basically everything Liam has already asked and he gets the same treatment from the boys, silence.

"Are you still scared for the doctor? Is that it? Because I can tell her you don't want to see her ever again." Zayn frowns, it's clear that the twins' behaviour worries him too. "Boys did one of you have an accident?"

For a brief second Liam wonders what he might be referring to, but then it all seems clear. The boys haven't been to the bathroom since they came home.

So Liam finally joins them, grabbing their wrists and pulling until the kids step off the couch.

"Liam, be careful!" Zayn yelps helping Niall stand as he almost falls from the couch and follows him silently as he walks the boys in the bathroom.

Showering Niall and Louis has never been so sad.

"Louis, would you please talk to me?" Liam asks, wrapping his thin frame into a warm cloth, rubbing his hands over his arms. "Please, I can't help if you don't tell me what's wrong. Are you mad at me? Are you sad? What happened?"

For the first time it looks like Louis does want to say something. Liam briefly glances at the other side of the room where Zayn is helping Niall with his pajamas. The blond is silently crying, but Liam isn't sure if Zayn has figured something out or not. All he knows is that when he asks again, Louis' eyes wet with tears.

"Louis, why are you crying now? Is it my fault? Do you feel sick?" Liam asks softly, using his hand to lift Louis' chin and try to look at him in the eyes.

Louis mumbles something, but it's so faint that Liam doesn't catch it at all, "Louis please, say it again."

"Yell. Don't like it."

"You don't like yelling? Who was yelled?"

Louis keeps crying, shivering under Liam's touch, "You."

And then it hits him. Not only Harry had heard him, but his brothers too. He is the reason why the kids are doing so bad.

Hearing Niall hiccupping behind his back, Liam wonders if Zayn reached the same conclusion.

"I am sorry, Lou. I promise I won't yell again, okay?"

Louis nods again, but he doesn't trust himself enough to speak again; Liam has to deal with it.

 

 


	7. It's not okay, Liam

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zayn and Liam talk about what happened with the boys and Zayn guides Liam in right direction, as always.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait and sorry it's short!
> 
> Hope you like it anyway...

“They need serious help, Liam. It's okay that they are scared, but it's not okay how they shut down. Absolutely not. It's not okay that it took you so much to figure it out,” Zayn explains and Liam just cries, hiding his face into his hands.  
  
  
Because Zayn is fucking right. As much as Liam wants to tell him that it's not his place to tell what's okay and what's not, actually he knows Zayn has all the rights to.  
  
  
Yup. Because Zayn is the one who has spent the last two hours talking to the twins, he is the one who forced Liam into in his room, saying that it would have been easier to make them talk without him and Liam is the one who had just been grateful to run away. He knows there are some issues, but once again he doesn't like to hear some kind of things out loud, he prefers to spend time in his room, rather than hearing his boys complaining about how bad of a brother Liam is.  
  
  
So Liam had spent the last two hours hiding in his room, he had even tried to listen to music, it’s something he used to do everytime he felt down during his teenage years. But since he began sharing a house with Daniel he had never done that, neither had he thought about it when the kids first came in the picture. He simply never had time to listen to music and shut the rest of the world away. Right now, he is glad that something could shield his ears from the talking happening downstairs.   
  
  
And now he is here, listening to Zayn.  
  
  
If Zayn’s words are any indication of what the boys said, it must have been pretty bad.  
  
  
“Louis said he felt forced to go to the hospital, you took his arm and pushed him. Now, I know kids can be melodramatic, but they where angry at you when I met you yesterday, remember?”  
  
  
“What was I supposed to do? They didn't want to go out…” he recalls.  
  
  
“I am not saying you did wrong, Liam. Just try to put yourself into their shoes. Let's start again. They were angry at you, but then they started to ease up. After the shots it wasn't even that bad. We had a nice afternoon.”  
  
  
Liam nods, “As good as it could have been. We were in a clinic.”  
  
  
“You know what I mean,” Zayn says, rolling his eyes. “Anyways, they played and then fell asleep. Next thing they remember is you shutting the car door close. Did you remember the part where they didn't want to stay away from you? It's called separation anxiety. They began to panic because they were alone.”  
  
  
“Fuck," Liam says.  
  
  
How come Liam didn’t think about it? He doesn’t need to be a shrink to realize that they felt betrayed, abandoned and that’s why they have been so distant, they don’t trust Liam anymore. He let them down.  
  
  
“They told me they heard you yell,” Zayn ignores the way Liam is crying, he just keeps talking, “They hate loud voices. Think about Harry, it's the same. But they have a more dangerous way to cope with it.”  
  
  
He is right. At least Harry had a reaction, he decided to be angry. The kids basically let themselves die… and Liam didn't even understand how serious it was. They are too little to understand how serious what they did is, they couldn’t realize it, but Liam should have. It is his job to care for them and he didn’t. He was too worried about Zayn to pay attention.   
  
  
“What do I do?”  
  
  
“Liam, think of me as a doctor right now, don't think of me as your friend, your date or whatever. I suggest you and the kids all do therapy. There is no point in waiting, you are doing them no good. I have seen kids like your brothers, they get better, they just need someone to guide them. You need it too.”  
  
  
Liam opens him mouth at that. He barely whisper an “I don't,” but then he isn't so sure about what. Maybe he doesn't need help? He does, actually. He doesn't want to? It doesn't matter right now, the boys need it. So he shuts up, waiting for Zayn to keep going as he rubs his eyes tiredly.  
  
  
“You need someone who can give you some tips about how to act around them. There are things that you might not want to do, but that they need; or things that seem natural to you but could do them more harm than good.”  
  
  
“Would you help?” he can't do this alone. He needs to know that there is someone. And Zayn is the only one right now.  
  
  
“I'll be by your side,” he assures, “As a friend. A boyfriend maybe, one day.”  
  
  
“That's not what I meant, Zayn. Am I still talking to the doctor? I want to-”  
  
  
“Wait, Liam. I can't be their doctor, I can give you a name, if you want.”  
  
  
  
“What? Why? You are so good with them, Zayn.”  
  
  
Zayn rubs at the bottom of his chin, leaning with his back against the chair, almost trying to put space between himself and Liam. “There are a lot of good doctors, less involved into your private life. I can't do that.”  
  
  
Liam needs a few seconds to process what Zayn meant and then his mind comes up with a co clusion, “I don't want to date you.” For once, just for once he has to put his feelings aside, he has to think for the boys, that's what a good guardian is supposed to do. “If we are not seeing each other, if we keep it professional, you can be their doctor, can't you?”  
  
  
“I could,” Zayn states, “But I won't. There is plenty of good psychiatrists, I am not the only one. And I'll be around anyways, I won’t leave.”  
  
  
“You were ready to give up on me yesterday, just because I made your son cry. You know more than anyone, you should understand. I don't want to date you, I want you to help with my brothers.”  
  
  
“Liam, you are scared and I get this, but it's fine. I'll be here, I'll still talk to the boys, I'll still tell you what I think, but you need someone who is not emotionally involved with you or them. Don't think about you and me now, think about the fact that Niall and Louis enjoy their time with Harry. They won't stay with him if I am their doctor. Louis let me to hold him when we were at the park, remember? I couldn't come with you. It would be another loss for them.”  
  
  
He is right. What is Liam supposed to say at this point? He can't just go to the first doctor Zayn tells him. There is so much to fix with his brothers and Zayn is such a good doctor.   
  
  
“Liam I am sorry but I should go home now. Perrie has a family dinner and I left Harry there for more than I expected. See you tomorrow?”  
  
  
“Wait! What do I do when  they wake up?”  
  
  
“Act normal. You talk to them, have some bonding time. You could play Legos, they had fun with that.”  
  
  
“I don't have Legos here.”  
  
  
“Then go out and buy them. And if they don't want to go out, be patient, but don't let them stay home. Okay?”  
  
  
  
  
  



	8. School day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis and Niall first school day!!!

On Monday, Liam wakes up with a strange feeling in the pit of his stomach. He shifts uncomfortably on the bed, bumping into Louis’ small body all curled up on his left side. Niall and Louis still can't sleep in their room and Liam knows it's time for them to stop clinging so bad to him. But they already have a lot on their plate right now. Forcing them to sleep alone will only add more stress, that's what Zayn told him at least.

 

Especially because today is a big day. Today Louis and Niall are ready to do a big step in their little lives. It's the twins’ first school day and it makes Liam impossibly nervous.

 

Yesterday Liam had sat the boys on the couch, giving them a talk about how important school is and how much they are going to love it. Niall and Louis had looked unsure, a little scared as always, but they didn't complain.

 

Even Harry told them it would be awsome. Zayn is still being careful with his son, he doesn't like when Harry comes home and Liam can’t help being hurt, but he doesn't dare complain. He is still glad that Zayn made an exception yesterday, for the boys’ sake. Harry spent a couple of hours with them, mostly watching TV, but once in a while Zayn threw in the school subject and Harry just mentioned positive things, almost like him and his dad had planned it.

 

It doesn't matter how much time Liam spent explaining everything, they still don't want to go. Liam can tell it as soon as they open their eyes.

 

“Good morning, boys!” he smiles, wrapping his arms around Niall and heading him to the bathroom. “Mind doing this on your own?” he asks, sitting him into the already filled tub and going to collect Louis. 

 

“Hurry up boys. We don't want to be late!” he says trying to sound cheerful, while he is actually dying inside.

 

They seem so sad, they don't want to go and maybe Liam should keep them home just for another day.

 

He dries them and coax them into eating a little breakfast. They are still shy around food, but it's not like them and it hurts.

 

Liam smiles when he picks the boys backpacks. He wanted to go out with them and make them choose what they wanted, but with all the recent events Louis and Niall didn't want to go out and, for once, Zayn told him to not stress them too much. Actually Zayn had bought the two backpacks as a present for the two brave little ones, with all the pencils and notebook and everything they might need.

 

Liam carries them for the boys because they are so small that he is worried they might fall from the weight on their tiny shoulders. He still has to call doctor Perrie to talk about their therapy.

 

“Liam…”

 

“Do not even begin, Louis. You are going,” Liam states, helping him climb in the car. “You'll like it, okay?”

 

Louis pouts, grabbing his brother’s hand as Niall hiccups.

 

“You can't cry if you don't know what you are going to do.” Liam tries to reason. He doesn't know why he bothers talking to them, they don't listen anymore. So he just turns the stereo on, trying to not think about this awful silence, he even sings along a couple of songs until they reach the school yard.

 

“Let's go!” he smiles once they reach the school.

 

It's still early, but Zayn suggested to not arrive with everyone else. The crowd might scare the kids. Liam grabs their hands and walks them through the empty hallways to their class. Not even the teacher has arrived, so he can try and make the boys comfortable.

 

“Do you like it?” he asks, walking with them all around the room. 

 

“Look! Other boys made this picture,” Liam says happily, pointing to a drawing on the wall." You two like drawing, don't you? You can make a lot of pictures like that!”

 

When he glances back at the boys, he finds them staring, like they are actually curious about what is surrounding them and Liam couldn't be more proud.

 

“Do you like these little chairs?” he asks, pointing to the green chair Louis can't keep his eyes off and sitting him there. “You can sit too, Niall.”

 

“Good morning!" a happy voice says right behind them. “You must be the Paynes.”

 

Liam turns a bit too sharply, startling his brothers, “Yeah. I’m - My name’s Liam and they are Louis and Niall.”

 

He should have let them say their names, as Zayn told him, but he was so anxious that he forgot.

 

The teacher gives them a warming smile, crutching in front of them, “And I am Miss Bree. How are you?”

 

After a moment of akward silence, Liam apologies, “They don’t- I mean, I spoke to the principal and- Really, just, please be patient with them.”

 

“It's fine, I have been warned. There is a reason if they are in my class,” she says quickly glancing up at him, but then all her attention focuses back on the boys, “And I'm sure you'll like here.”

 

Liam is actually glad that everyone seems to understand the kids and supports them, he is just sad that the boys can't see that and that they don't trust anyone. Which sadly includes Liam at the moment, he can feel that they don't trust him still.

 

The teacher tries to explain to them what's going to happen in the next few hours, she talks about drawings and alphabet and nice stories but nothing seems to catch their attention, they are completely unresponsive. 

 

It lasts until other kids start to show up. Two boys come in together; they kiss Miss Bree’s cheek and say their names to Louis and Niall when she asks them to. With the corner of his eyes, Liam glances at the two moms standing next to the door chatting with each other and wonders what they think about the fact that two boys start school in the middle of November. It has to be weird.

 

At some point one of the boys, Dean, grabs Louis’ hand and brings him over a box with some toys, showing a car into his small hands. Louis twists it in his lap, glaring at the boy as he picks another car and places it on the floor, teaching Louis how to ride it all around.

 

In the meanwhile the other kid, Sam talks to Miss Bree, telling her that he has been good and learnt the whole alphabet. He just can't pronunce a letter that Liam thinks should be ‘r’, even if it sounds more like an ‘s’.

 

After an awkward moment spent there looking around, Liam takes Niall’s hand and guides him to his brother. “Lou, do you like the car?” he asks, crutching next to him, “Why don't you play with it?”

 

Louis just hands the car to Liam, “Can we go home now?”

 

And Liam’s heart sinks.

 

“Please, just try to stay here boys. Just for a while, okay?”

 

Miss Bree comes back to them as soon as she hears their small conversation. “I think you should go now, Mister Payne.”

 

“They have never been on their own,” Liam warns, unsure if he should really leave them there. It looks like he is abandoning them and he doesn't want to look like the bad guy here.

 

“I know, and I'm sure they'll cry all the morning and I won't be able to do much today. But it's fine; it will be better tomorrow and the next day," Miss Bree assures.

 

Liam gulps, bracing himself for the inevitable heartbreak as he hugs the boys and walks away, already hearing their sniffles as they realize what's going on. 

 

He doesn't walk away, though. He just settles outside, peeking from the windows. Louis and Niall are both sitting on the floor, their pale faces tear strained and Liam can't help it when a tear escapes from the corner of his own eye.

 

The two moms still inside walk to them and Liam wishes he could be able to listen what they are saying and understand why his brothers just seem to cry harder, even when Miss Bree tries to give them toys and distract them. Even the two boys, Sam and Dean, stare in shock and Liam is ready to go inside and collect them when another little girl passes next to him to go inside. She is crying too, but her mom is telling her to be quiet and that everything will be okay. The girl just pouts, rubbing at her watery eyes and stomps her foot on the floor, but then she follows. Sometimes parents need to be mean, Liam tells himself. The woman's eyes are sad, which Liam understands perfectly how hurtful it is to deny their child to go home but it has to be done. It's for them.

 

He doesn't know how long he stands over there, all he knows is that his legs are staring to ache from standing so long and the room is now full of kids, no more parents around.

 

The teacher, at some point, has been able to sit Niall and Louis on two chairs, next to another boy and two girls. They are turned with their backs to the door now and Liam can't see their faces. He has a feeling they are still sniffling because their tiny shoulders shake sometimes, and they are holding their hands under the table. 

 

Liam sighs when his phone rings and he has to pry hi(m) off the boys to look at the screen and answer.  “Zayn?”

 

“Hey, there! So, how is it going?”

 

Liam clears his throat, “I left them crying.”

 

“Are they still crying?”

 

“I don’t know.”

 

Zayn laughs at him, “How can you not know when you are staring at them?”

 

Liam widens his eyes wondering how Zayn could know where he is, when he feels a tap on his shoulder. “Zayn?” he asks confused, turning around to face him.

 

“You are gonna get me fired!” Zayn says smiling, stepping closer to the window to look inside. “How are they?”

 

“It has been horrible to leave them there.”

 

“I know. I cried on Harry’s first day. Now, can you imagine me crying?” he asks and when Liam pulls on a face he laughs again, “Exactly. Now, let's go have a coffee and then you are taking me to the hospital before I really get fired.”

 

They walk to the closest coffee shop. Zayn says it's a nice place and Liam is just glad to be close to the school in case he has to go back in a rush… who knows what could happen.

 

“Liam, there is another reason as to why I am here today.”

 

“What reason?” Liam asks, suddenly suspicious.

 

Zayn sips from his mug, holding it with both hands as he tries to warm his fingers. “Remember when we spoke about graduating and jobs and all of that?”

 

Liam vaguely remembers, he has mentioned it a couple of times, they never had a proper conversation about it, but Liam nods anyways, not sure where Zayn is going with this speech. “Yeah, sure.”

 

“Good. So, you said your dream was to be a teacher. Well, I couldn't stop thinking about that and then-”

 

“Zayn it doesn't matter, I am fine with what I do for now.”

 

“I know, but fine is not enough, is it? It's just what we say to pretend we don't care.”

 

“Zayn stop playing doc here. It is what it is. We can't do much about it.”

 

Zayn sips from his cup again, then he stares at the black water into the cup as he says, “Except we can. I have this friend and she works at this private school, it's not even that far. It's kindergarten and they are looking for new coworkers. Teachers. You know, you have everything they require, you could-”

 

Liam stares. What is he supposed to do? A job as a teacher would be awesome. Kindergarten is perfect, he happens to be good with kids and it's not far from home. But how about Louis and Niall? They are going through so much… 

 

"I don't know, Zayn. It's a big opportunity and seriously, thank you for thinking about me, but we are not ready, it's a big step and I don't know if we can manage.”

 

“Liam, the boys go to school now, you don't have to stay with them every morning anymore.”

 

“What if they don't want to go?”

 

“They have to, so it doesn't matter. Just think about it, you have a try day next Monday, so relax for now,” Zayn explains as he gives Liam a piece of paper with an address written on.

 

\--

 

When Liam got back to the school he is early, very early. He stays alone for almost half an hour before other parents show up, the school doors still closed. He listens to some of their speeches wondering in which class their sons are and if some of them are with the boys. 

 

He still thinks about Zayn’s offer. He has been thinking so hard that his head hurts and he still doesn’t know what to do. Zayn seems so confident, he makes everything look so easy and Liam really needs money, but Niall and Louis? What if they feel abandoned knowing that Liam does other things while they are at school? 

 

As soon as he is allowed, Liam runs inside, not surprised that he is the first one to knock on the door of the classroom.

 

The teacher smiles when she spots him and before the boys can turn and see him she rushes to the door and closes it behind her shoulders, the clear intention of talking to Liam.

 

“Hi, Mister Payne.”

 

“It's Liam. How are they?”

 

She shrugs, “They are still quite upset, but it's normal at first. Now, I already knew something about them and of course I didn't push them too much. Just, you know, I let them draw and their pictures are in their backpacks if you want to look at them later, they are very nice.”

 

She stops to greet a mom and tell her to go inside and take her son, then she keeps talking, “Also, they enjoyed when we read a story, but they didn't want to read with the others.”

 

“I don't know if they can read, I am sorry.”

 

“It's okay, we are just starting. There are pictures in the book and I help them, they just don't want to try. Now, I am positive they are just shy, we can work on that. It’s not the right place to tell you this, but the principal mentioned some therapy…”

 

“I don't know yet. Maybe. I want to give them some time…”

 

Liam can feel that the teacher wants to say something, to give him her opinion on it, but she doesn't.  She just smiles, “They don't want to play with other kids, they have just sat there the whole time and after the initial curiosity of the new ones, the other kids left them on their own. I am not sure it's a good thing,” she states and if she is trying to sugar coat the pill she is failing miserably. “Now I suggest you to go inside, they’ll be sad if other parents show up and you don't.”

 

When Liam gets inside there are half of the kids still sitting in their small chairs and Niall and Louis are crying again. It's just small hiccups but when they spot Liam the digs break and they begin to cry louder not affected by the glances they are earning from the other kids and their parents.

 

“No, no, no,” Liam whispers, hugging them. "It's okay, I am taking you home, it's okay.”

 

He scoops Louis into his arms and forces Niall to walk, it doesn't matter that they both need him, he can't carry both and he tries to not prefer one brother over the other, it's Louis’ turn today, even if it just makes Niall cry harder, so hard that it seems that he is gasping. Even Louis looks at him worried, shifting uncomfortably between Liam’s arms and calling for his brother. But Niall just cries and walks, stumbling into his own feet a couple of times and holding tight onto Liam’s hand. 

 

Once in the car, he waits until they are both quiet enough before talking. “How was your day? Louis? What did you do?”

 

Louis looks at Liam’s face in the rear mirror and shrugs, getting closer to Niall’s ear and whispering. Niall widens his eyes and chews on his knuckles,  mouthing something back.

 

“I am talking to you, boys! Niall, what did you do today?”

 

“Nothing,” They both whisper with an afraid tone and that's when Liam realises that they haven't understand the question. They think Liam wants to know what they did wrong. They probably don't want him to find out that they cried and refused to play. That's so wrong.

 

“Boys I meant… did you have fun? Just a little bit… Were people nice to you?” They seem confused, and Liam doesn't know how to explain, “You are not in trouble, okay? I am just curious. It's like when you ask me what I am writing on my pc. You just want to know it, right? It's the same. I am so curious… when I was your age I loved drawing at shool. Once I drew a dog, did you do that?”

 

“I drew a home,” Niall whispers, turning his head to the right and looking out of the window when Louis adds, “It was our home. I mean yours.”

 

“It's yours too, Louis. It’s fine. So you drew our home? Can I see the pic when we get home?”

 

Niall nods, “But we have to give it back tomorrow.”

 

“Really? Why?”

 

“Miss Bree puts it on the wall.”

 

“She says Niall has a talent for drawing.”

 

Liam smiles, it's the longest conversation in days. “Really? Well done, Niall! And you, Louis?”

 

Louis pouts crossing his arms on his chest and Niall answers for him, “He drew a cat.”

 

“But it was ugly.”

 

“It’s okay, Lou,” Niall assures him, patting his knee with the hand he isn’t chewing on.

 

“Hey, Lou,” Liam suggests, “Would you like if when we go home we try to draw it again? Together, maybe… I like cats.”

 

“See?” Niall says, brushing his hair off his face and putting his hand back in his mouth while Louis nods his head.

 

“So you drew… and what else? Did you learn the alphabet?”

 

The boys shake their heads no, “Sam said it.”

 

“Three times. That boy is annoying.”

 

“Really? Why?”

 

“He never stops talking,” Niall says and Louis adds, “And he stole the car Dean gave us.”

 

“Dean gave you a car?”

 

“He wanted to play, he is nice.”

 

So they like when people want to share something with them, it happened with Harry’s book and now it's Deans car, but they are annoyed when people talk to much, which is weird because Harry talks an awful lot and they love him. Maybe this Sam kid is not as nice as Harry, who knows.

 

“So you don't like Sam?” Liam asks and the boys mumble something between each other, “What's this about?” he asks parking the car.

 

They stay quiet, Liam brings them inside almost sure that their speech has come to an end, when Louis pulls at his leg pant, so shallowly that if Liam wasn't paying attention he would have miss it.

 

“Li?”

 

“What?”

 

“Why are we so small?”

 

“What?” he asks in disbelief.

 

Louis sighs, staring at him, while Niall pats his hand, as to scold him. But Louis looks like he really wants to know.

 

“Sam said we are too small. He stood in front of us and showed us how smaller we are. And said that his mom told him to stay away because we are sick. Are we sick?” then he turns to Niall, who is almost crying, “I am sorry, Ni.”

 

Okay, Liam is going to go to school tomorrow and talk to Miss Bree. Or the principal. What is this about? It's absolutely crazy! “Niall, it's okay, just please don't cry. I promise, you are not sick,” Liam explains, hoping they'll believe him. 

 

Liam guides them on the couch bracing himself for the serious conversation.

 

“You are too short because you didn't eat enough when you were younger. It's true, isn't it?”

 

They nod, leaning against the back of the couch and dangling their legs.

 

“But now you are eating more, right? So you'll become the same height of Sam in no time!” Liam says hopefully. It has nothing to do with the fact that doctor Perrie is going to give them some sort of therapy for that too. The kids don't need to know that right now, they'll just think they are sick if he tells them that. “Speaking of that, did you eat the snacks I gave you?”

 

Liam had bought them chocolate bars, put them into their backpacks and showing them where they are, but still they shock their head. 

 

Liam sighs. “Doesn't matter. I bet you are hungry now. What about some amazing hamburgers? And chips maybe?”

 

Louis and Niall looks at each other again, they can't even decide what to eat without knowing what the other one thinks. Every time Liam thinks they are making tiny steps ahead, they make a few steps back.

 

But then they do something that really, really startles Liam. 

 

“Can we tell you something, Li?” Louis asks in a thin voice, crawling closer, hugging him.

 

Niall matches his moves and just when their heads are buried against Liam’s chest they whisper, “Love you, Li. Thanks.”

 

And Liam's heart melts at those words.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uhm... Lot of feels about this chapter.
> 
> What do you think about it? I don't usually write sweet moments, but I thought Liam deserved something for everything he is doing...
> 
> What do you think so far? 
> 
> Do you remember your first school day? How was it? On mine, mom told me that I cam back telling everyone that yeah, I had gone to school, now I could get rid of my backpack because I was done with it!!!


	9. Thanks, Harry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sleepover at Liam's. What could go wrong? Uhm...

 

On their third day of school, nothing  changed. They still cry every morning and Liam still feels bad when he leaves them with the teacher.

Liam doesn't know how he feels about the whole situation. He doesn't know if what he is doing is the right thing or not. Liam wishes there was just a guide "How to be a guardian" or something. Niall and Louis are talking again and it's nice, he had missed their tiny voices, but Liam feels like they are back at months ago, when he was the only one they talked to and when they whined about everything. They wet the bed again yesterday and Liam feels kind of desperate, despite Zayn trying to encourage him to be strong and wait. "It's slow progress, but it's still progress" Zayn keeps saying and sometimes Liam just can't see what progress he is talking about.

He must have looked really desperate, because after all the time spent explaining that he doesn't want Harry involved with the family, Zayn has finally allowed a sleepover.

Now that Liam thinks about it, it was probably because Louis and Niall had asked for Harry. It was bound to happen at some point and that moment had arrived two days ago, while Liam and Zayn were watching a movie together. At some point the kids had asked as to why they didn't get to see Harry anymore. Shifting the weight on their feet and holding their bears in front of their faces, shyly looking at Zayn from their spot next to the couch and Zayn had been so happy to hear their faint voices again, that he decided to make them happy.

That's how they endeed up all together, spending a nice evening, watching cartoons and having dinner.

-

But the morning is a whole different story.

Liam is shaken awake by Harry's voice and he almost has a heart attack. Since Louis and Niall sleep with him, Harry and Zayn are in Daniel's old room, the one who is supposed to be the kids room; the two rooms are divided by a thin wall and Liam can hear everything Harry is saying, which is basically an hyperactive speech about waking up and getting ready. Even Niall and Louis wake up, confused and a bit startled.

"Liam..."

And let's begin another day, Liam tells himself stroking Niall's cheek in a futile attempt to keep him calm while his lip wobbles dangerously, and Louis is already in tears.

"Come on, boys, let's see how are our guests are doing, yeah?"

"Li, stay home please?"

"We'll be good."

"Not today, okay? But I promise, I'll let you skip tomorrow," Liam promises. Actually Miss Bree has already warned Liam that tomorrow there won't be any lesson, they have to do disinfestation.

He knocks on Zayn's room, greeting him with a kiss on the corner of his mouth and ruffling Harry's hair.

"Liam, come on we are late!" Harry screams again, while Zayn rubs his hair, half laying on the bed with a hand under his face.

"I am sorry, he woke you all," Zayn says.

"Is he always like that in the morning?" Liam can't help but ask, when Harry rushes to Louis and Niall and grabs their warm little hands bringing them to the bathroom as Zayn nods sadly.

"He surely has a lot of energy."

"He is hyperactive, which is different. I don't know how to calm him down sometimes."

"It's alright, Zayn. At least he knows how to handle my brothers." He smiles sadly, sitting next to Zayn and shaking his head. "We should get ready, you are late for work."

"Seriously, Liam? I know I am not the kind of man who does sleepovers, and we didn't even sleep together. But I am laying here, with my bed hair - and come on, look at this hair - and you think about work?"

Liam mentally slaps himself, because how could he not notice that Zayn sleeps without a shirt? He leans over Zayn, placing a kiss on his lips, mumbling an apology. He enjoys the moment, but then he ends it with, "Yeah, we are late, Zayn. We'd better hurry."

So Liam stands up and walks to the bathroom, just to find Harry rubbing a towel over Louis' shoulder, while Niall splashes his hands in the water. It's not too much to do harm, but it looks like he is actually having fun doing it.

"Harry..." Zayn sighs, appearing behind Liam.

But Harry doesn't look worried at all by his father's tone, "We just showered, daddy. See? I told them that they can't pee in the water and no drinking it, because all of the poo on our skin goes in it and it's disgusting. But we don't have to be afraid of water, right daddy?"

"Yeah, you are right Harry."

"Good. Because they were afraid they'd drown if Liam wasn't here, but I am here and they are fine. Seen, Louis? You are all done," he smiles, moving away from Louis and leaving him standing naked in the middle of the small bathroom; he stumbles over another washcloth and Liam doesn't even know how he knew where to find them. Harry grabs it and coax Niall out of the water, helping him get dry. For a moment Liam is afraid Niall might slip, he hears Zayn mumbling something about not doing dangerous things, but he can't be sure since Harry's voice is filling the air again.

"I showered with them, daddy. But no hair wash, I did it yesterday and we don't do that everyday, am I right?" Harry asks.

"Sure." Zayn sighs, he has never sounded as resigned as he does now.

"Good! But daddy, we have been very nice today, can we have a big big breakfast like the ones mommy does when I am at hers?"

Liam gulps at the mention of Harry's mom and looks at Zayn who seems impossibly tired from the situation.

"We can't Harry. You have school and I told you I can't cook like your mother."

"Oh." Harry seems disappointed, he holds onto Niall's arms a bit tighter, actually making him wince.

"Harry, stop," Zayn yelps, finally moving from his spot to pry Harry away from Niall, "See, you are hurting him."

"You are hurting me too," Harry says and Liam opens his mouth in disbelief. He can't have actually said that.

Liam knows he should do or say something, but it looks like he can't do anything at all.

"Liam, could you finish it with your brothers? I'm going to help Harry dressing up," he mumbles, grabbing his son's wrist.

"Actually, could you stay with them? I can help Harry," Liam offers well aware that Zayn needs a moment for his own and Niall and Louis are the perfect company when you don't want to be bothered.

He grabs Harry's hand and walks with him in the other room. "So, what kind of clothes did you bring?" he asks.

Harry rushes to the backpack Zayn had with him and picks a shirt and some pants. "School uniform, silly! It's the same Louis and Niall have, you know that."

"Oh, right. I forgot. Harry, can I ask you something?"

"Sure!"

"Why were you laughing when you were in the bathroom?"

"Just because I didn't know that Louis couldn't dry himself and he was soaking the floor, but then I helped him and he is ticklish. Your brothers are cute."

Liam nods, "You are cute too. Can I ask something else? But you have to promise you won't tell your daddy."

"I won't. I am good with secretes, I didn't tell daddy that mom forgot me home once, see? I can keep a secret."

Actually he can't, Liam considers. But he'll ask anyways. "Why did you tell your dad that he was hurting you? Is it true?"

Harry shakes his head, tapping his nose with the tip of his point finger, "I love daddy. But when I do that he does what I want."

Oh. "But it's not right, Harry, you made him so sad. You were sad when daddy said you were hurting Niall, right? Because you didn't mean it."

"Of course! But I wanted a big breakfast."

"And you can have it. Daddy might not know how to cook it, but we could go to a café while we are on our way and have chocolate milk and pancakes some other day, when we are not in a hurry to go to school I'll make you whatever your mom makes. How does it sound?"

Harry smiles excited, "Yes! Yes please Liam!" he shouts, hugging him so hard that Liam is sure his leg will have small handprints on it.

"But I have two conditions: first of all, you apologise to daddy and tell him that you love him so much and he hasn't hurt you."

"I can do that! And the other condition?"

"Could you tell Louis and Niall that school is good and they don't have to cry every morning, please?" Harry asks. Liam feels impossibly childish asking this, but Harry has been able to make them have fun while showering, it looks like he can make the kids do everything! It's worth a try.

Harry nods finally getting dressed and he runs back to his dad.

It's clear to Liam that he has been crying, his brothers are still standing where they had been left and they seem completely unaffacted by everything.

"Daddy!" Harry says, hugging him, "I love you daddy. You are the best in the whole world and I don't need any breakfast, but if I am good we can have breakfast some other day when Liam can cook and we are not in a hurry."

Zayn gives Liam a look and he just shrugs, sitting Niall on the closed lid of the toilet and putting his shirt on.

"It's okay, Harry. I like the idea and who knows, I might learn how to cook someday," Zayn says.

"Okay, but please daddy don't burn the bacon again, it smells horribly," Harry giggles.

Zayn laughs and Liam glares at him, silently asking how is it possible to burn bacon at his age, to which Zayn just shrugs.

"Hey, Louis," Harry says, turning to him with a big smile on his face, "You know that Miss Bree used to be my teacher too? I love her, she is the nicest, isn't she?"

Louis shakes his head,"I don't like school."

"Really? But if you don't go to school you won't learn how to do a lot of things, like reading, writing... Isn't it right daddy? School is important! My dad went to school that's why he is so big and so smart. You don't want to be always so little and so-"

"Harry!" Zayn warns, so Harry opts for a safe "Not so smart".

"I am smart," Louis says, crossing his arms over his naked torso, "Liam says I am smart."

"Smart boys like school."

Louis opens his mouth, but then he closes it and mumbles an imperceptible,  "Then I'm not smart enough."

"What's wrong with school anyway?" Harry keeps asking, following Louis when Liam grabs his hand to sit and dress him too.

When it's clear that he won't get an answer he turns the question to the other twin.

"I don't know." Niall answers honestly, playing with the hem of his shirt.

"It's funny once you forget that Liam is not there."

"Too many people. Too loud."

Harry claps his hands, considering it a victory that Niall told him what's wrong about school. "If they are loud just shout louder. You won't get in trouble because Miss Bree loves blue eyes and you have pretty eyes just like mine. She always said she can't be angry at me, right daddy?"

"You shouldn't shout, Niall," Zayn quickly explains, "But you can ask the others to lower their voices. You can ask Harry too if he is too loud."

"I am not loud!" Harry yells back at his dad.

"You are," Niall sighs, "But that's okay."

And this still doesn't make sense to Liam, but it's sweet that they like Harry so much.

After a while Liam and Zayn are ready too and they all go have breakfast to a Starbucks on the road.

It's the first time in days that Niall and Louis eat like they used to do, and they even speak sometimes, even if it's still Harry the one who does most of the conversation.

"I am late," Zayn says at some point, standing up abruptly and Liam looks at the watch on his left wrist. Fuck, it is late!

"Zayn, why don't you just go to work and I drop the kids to school?" They are close to school, they can walk there while Zayn takes the car.

"Is it okay? I mean Harry-"

"We are fine with it, right, Harry?" Liam smiles and it is his way to assure Zayn that he can handle his son.

So Liam takes the three kids to school.

He stops in front of Louis and Niall's class first.

"Do we have to?" They ask together,  staring at the kids already inside and not letting go of Liam's hand.

"Of course you have to," Harry says, "You want to get bigger and smarter remember? Liam, can I walk inside with them, I want to say hi to Miss Bree!"

Liam nods and Harry takes the smaller kids' hands, bringing them inside.

"Miss Bree!" Harry says.

"Oh, hi Harry! And hi boys! How are you?"

"She is talking to you, Ni," Harry says, squeezing his hand a little harder and Niall blushes.

"Fine."

"Oh, good! Did you have a nice weekend?"

This time Niall just nods, and Louis nods along when the teacher looks at him, including him in the conversation.

"Why are you here, Harry?"

"They were afraid to come in, but I told them you are the best teacher in the world. Seen, boys? They are pretty, aren't they miss Bree?"

"Oh yes, they are."

"Where are you sitting?" Harry asks and the brothers point to their seats, so Harry walks them there, commenting on how nice their spot is and greeting the girl who is already sitting next to them, while Liam just stares.

"Harry, you should go to your class now," Miss Bree says and Harry nods.

"Be good, okay?"

Niall and Louis nod, looking at Liam with sad faces when he comes closer to kiss their heads and goes away, but they are definitely not crying.

"Is it okay, Liam?" Harry asks when they are alone.

Liam nods and walks to Harry to his class just before the bell rings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooooooo I really hope you liked this one, but don't get used to all this fluff,  it won't last long! I warned you.
> 
> I wanted to ask a couple of things. If you have a Wattpad and read this story from there, you already know some of this. 
> 
> In fact, first thing is about therapy. I know I have to write about it, it's coming in the next chapters. Now, I don't think I'll go into the detail of the therapy sessions because I don't have enough informations to make it believable. If you want me to write something in particular, prompt me and I'll write it. But unless I have a prompt, I'll not describe the session. (IT doesn't mean I won't talk about it!)
> 
> And now a question. 
> 
> What would you think about a new chapter? He won't show up right away, but in the next couple of chapters. Want to guess who he is? I am curious…
> 
> Love you all
> 
> Libs_


	10. Teacher

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Liam's first day as a teacher.
> 
> It doesn't go as planned, but in the end... would it be funny if it was easy?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I AM INCREDIBLY SORRY.
> 
> This chapter was ready ages ago, but I have been so busy, I don't even want to talk about it.
> 
> Anyway, I asked your opinion about a new character but I didn't get a reply so, the question is still here. Would you mind him? I'll tell you who he is later on.
> 
> Enjoy the chapter and... uhm... sorry for the drama! Love you all!

 

On Monday Liam wakes up with a weird feeling in the pit of his stomach. It's still dark outside, but, for some reason, he can't sleep.

Today is the day.

He hasn't thought about Zayn's offer until yesterday, when Zayn had brought up the subject, telling Liam he really should accept that job at school. Things are okay for now. The boys haven't missed a single day of school, they are less upset now, they even learnt the alphabet and can count to ten without messing up. They are so good! Harry even tried to teach them to write vowels. They are messy but put all their affort into it.

Just watching them, Liam can tell that he'd love teaching kindergarten.

He'll try today. He'll just go there and see how things go, he won't sign any paper; not if he doesn't want to, so he'll be fine. He is just a bit nervous, the same he was when he had an exam and he couldn't sleep at night.

Liam glances at the alarm on the left side of his bed. It's still five in the morning. It's too early he thinks as he rolls around in his bed, trying not to wake up the two boys sleeping next to him, but as soon as he turns his back at them he hears the all too familiar noise of one of them slowly awaking and not being happy about it.

Sighing Liam turns back at them, trying not to crush the little body he can now feel pressing hard against his back. It's Niall, Liam realizes once he looks at them in the poor light filling the room. He is hugging his pillow, with both his arms and legs, like a little monkey, hiding his face into it and resting his head on Liam's pillow. These kids are occupying too much room, it'd probably be wise to teach them how to sleep in their room and Liam is planning to do that. Seriously, he is. Maybe next week.

Louis is wrapped in all the covers and oh, that's why Liam's back is getting cold, he doesn't have a blanket covering it. The kid is trying to lean closer to his brother, but as soon as he moves, his brother pulls away and gets closer to Liam.

Liam guesses Louis is having some kind of nightmare once he focuses on his tear stained face, so he hurries to wake him up, stepping off the bed and rushing to his side. He doesn't want to wake Niall up while he is sleeping so peacefully, but if he brings Louis into another room and Niall wakes up alone it will be so much worse. So he just shakes Louis's shoulder lightly, flinching when he realizes the poor kid his shaking like a leaf. "Lou?"

The little boy tries again to curl next to Niall, waking him up in the process but refusing to open his own eyes.

Niall almost jumps as he spots Liam standing in front of them, he quickly sits up, rubbing sleep off his eyes and crossing his legs under his bum, one of his arms still clutching the pillow, pulling it off Louis' face.

"Hey, Lou, you were having a bad dream, it's okay. You are awake now," Liam explains as he has already done plenty of times.

"Oh," Louis mumbles, crawling on the bed until he is in front of Liam, hugging him tightly.

"Lou, you are warm," Liam says outloud, well aware that the kid doesn't know what it means. He touches Louis' neck and forehead frowning, "You don't feel good, do you?"

Louis nuzzles his sweaty face against Liam's neck and clutches his hands around his shirt. Yeah, he is definitely too warm, Liam is pretty sure he has a fever, even if he doesn't have a thermometer to check how bad it is.

"Niall, how do you feel?" he asks, hoping he can trust the little boy to answer honestly, but all Niall does is shrug and that doesn't help at all. "Come on, come here," he says sitting on the bed with a sniffling Louis still pressed against him and touches Niall's face, "You are not warm. I think. I don't know."

Niall frowns, confused by Liam's actions and Liam sighs again. He's done it a lot lately.

What is he supposed to do at this point? He can't take Louis to school when he is feeling so poorly and it's probably unwise to make Niall go out when he isn't sure the kid is alright. Not to mention that he doesnt want to know what could happen if he tries to separate tjem. So what? If he doesn't show up to school today he'll waste his chance and throw away Zayn's effort to help him. But it's not like he has a choice, he realizes when Louis starts hiccupping.

They don't even have any meds and he can't go to the shop, he has no one to stay with the kids and he feels so helpless that he almost joins Louis into crying.

"Li? What's wrong?" Niall asks, curiously pocking Louis' leg and not receiving an answer.

"I think Louis is sick," Liam tries to explain as his mind wonders over everything he knows about baby sickness.

His mom used to give him apple juice when he was sick, she always said that he had to drink even when his throat was burning or he felt like throwing up. If you have a fever you have to stay hydrated. Good. Then what? She always gave him some syrupy med that he hated, but that had the magic power of making him feel better in a short time, it's a pity he doesn't have any. With all the things Daniel thought about telling him, why didn't he mention kid meds? Or a thermometer at least.

"Let's go downstairs," Liam decides, helping Niall off the bed and bouncing Louis up and down in the hope he'll calm down as he leads them in the kitchen.

There is no juice, but Liam warms up milk and gives a cup to Niall first. The boys have always been together and it's just a casuality that Niall is okay, he doesn't want to risk him getting sick too, so he'll be extremely careful around him today.

Then he fills another cup, still managing with one hand, while the other is holding Louis, but the kid refuses to even look at it. He is so hot that Liam now understands why Niall was trying his best to push him away in bed. Fuck, he is not good at this, not at all.

"Who is it now?" he asks when he hears the ringtone of his phone, which he obviously had left upstairs.

He runs up the stairs picking it up from the nightstrand, "Hello?"

"Hello!" a cheering voice answers. It's Zayn, "You agitated?"

"You could say so. I am not going."

"What? Why? Liam if you are having some kind of anxiety-"

Liam wishes he could say it's just anxiety, but in all honesty he had been afraid something like this would happen. He was so happy about this new job, just for a while he allowed himself to dream about it, but it doesn't matter. If it happened there has to be a reason. "Louis is sick, I can't take him to school and I can't leave him here."

Zayn doesn't answer, Liam has a feeling he doesn't believe him, but then Niall comes to him crying, his face all blotchy and sweaty and here we go, now he is sure the two of them are both sick.

"Look, Zayn I have to go now, I am a bit busy here and I don't even know how to handle them," Liam says, sitting Louis on the edge of the bed and taking a better look Niall, before placing him next to his brother.

"Liam, dress up, you are already late," Zayn says again.

Seriously? He brushes Niall's hair with his hand, staring at his watery eyes. "Zayn, I can't go anywhere, what am I supposed to do?" he doesn't mean to be harsh, but he is angry and scared and Zayn doesn't understand.

"I am coming over, I'll take care of them until you come home. Now hurry up you don't want to be late."

"I can't ask you that."

"You didn't ask, I offered."

"Zayn, you have a job."

"You have too. Look, I am half dressed, I'll be there in half an hour, you'd better be ready, or else I am throwing you out of your own house in your pajamas." Zayn states, hanging up before Liam has a chance to reply.

So what? He chews on his lower lip, pacing back and forth in the room for a couple of minnutes, before deciding to crutch in front of his brothers and make them decide. "Boys, I have to ask you a very very important question."

They look up with their shy faces, showing him that they are listening, so Liam proceeds with his question, "I know you are not feeling good, but would it be okay if I'd leave you just for a while?"

He realizes he should have phrased it differently when their eyes fill with tears again, "Don't leave us, Li," they croak out at the same time, flinching when they find out that speaking hurts.

"No, hey, look at me. Zayn will stay here with you. You like Zayn, don't you? He'll stay with you all the time, watch cartoons with you and I'll be quick, you won't even notice I am not here."

"Don't go, Li. Please."

Yeah, he shouldn't have asked, there is no way they are going to let him go without crying their eyes out. He picks his phone again and deals Zayn's number.

"You are going, Liam. I don't care what you are thinking, what has happened or else. Dress up, I wasn't kidding," Zayn says before Liam has a chance to explain.

"Zayn-"

"I am already driving to yours, I can't stay on the phone. Dress up, Liam."

And so Liam does, leaving the two sniffling boys in the big bed, with their blanket on and placing their bears next to them.

When Zayn arrives, Liam is ready to go. All of his things into his bag, his hair styled nicely and his shoes tied up. He is so worried that his hands are shaking, everything is happening so fast that he doesn't have a chance to process it all. Part of him is so proud for trying, the other part doesn't want to go. He'd say it's just for Louis and Niall, but honestly it has more to do with being afraid of failing than with the boys. What if the kids in school don't like him? What if he is not good as a teacher? In the end he likes the job he has right now.

"No, you don't, Liam. And we don't have time for this conversation, now go."

"Wait, where is Harry?" Liam asks, following Zayn upstairs as he goes to the kids.

Zayn stops midway through the stairs, "He's with Perrie, I didn't have time to take him to school and I don't want him getting sick. Now go, because I am pretty sure they won't let go of you if they see you."

"Wait, they are sick. I should just go to the pharmacy and-"

"I brought some meds for them and a thermometer. You can keep it. Now go."

Liam nods, kissing Zayn's face as quick as possible and rushes down the stairs. Then he runs back up, "Zayn, wait. They have to drink and-"

"Liam I am a doctor and I have a son. I am pretty sure I can handle them, but just in case, I have your number and I'll call you. Also, I know emergency numbers, I can call abulances if they get worse, firefighters if something burns, and police if someone gets in. I think you can go now."

"Thank you, Zayn."

\---

First thing Liam does as soon as the bell rings and he is go and call Zayn. Teaching is amazing, he has been staying with this Josh guy, who showed him what to do and how to act around kids, helped him learn all their names and since they'll be working together he even gave him his number. He is so happy and so excited that he has to talk to Zayn, like right now.

So he doesn't waste any time and rings him.

"Liam?"

"Zayn! It's amazing, seriously thank you. Josh, my coworker, said he'll talk to the principal but he is pretty sure I'm hired. I'll go back tomorrow anyways. They want- Are you there, Zayn?"

"Uhm, yeah. Liam I think you really should come now."

"What? Why? What happened?"

"Just promise me you won't freak out."

Liam rushes to his car, as he says "Too late, I am freaking out. Talk, Zayn."

"Come to the hospital, please. Liam be careful."

Liam hangs up without asking further informations. Zayn would just make him waste time and all he wants now is to find out what happened. A lot of things rush through his mind, he has no idea of what's going on and driving has never been so stressful as it his right now, when he has to focus on the road and people here want to be run over! They can't even look where they are going. And his mind just can't stop picturing the worse scenarios ever.

When he finally manages to arrive there, miraculously still intact, he feels like he has run the whole way, he can barely breathe and his legs are shaking.

Instead of asking a nurse, he calls Zayn when he is still in the parking lot and asks him where to go and what to do.

He somehow manages to arrive in front of Zayn, who looks like he has just been in a car wreck.

"Where are my brothers? Zayn, what happened?"

"I am sorry, Liam. I just wasn't expecting that."

"What? You weren't expecting what, Zayn? Please."

Zayn takes a deep breath, resting his back against a wall, "Louis had a seizure, his fever was too high. I am sorry, Liam, I promised I'd take care of them."

Liam nods, he knows he should say something, tell Zayn that it wasn't his fault, but he can't function properly right now. "How is he now?"

"He is okay. He can't be discharged unless you are here obviously, but he is okay."

Zayn leads him to Louis' room, where he finds his brothers curled up on the bed. There is an IV connected to Louis ' arm and his face is still tear stained, Niall is hugging him protectively, clutching him from behind and hiding his face into his brother's neck as they are both laying down.

Liam had imagined a lot worse, especially thinking about Niall's asthma attack last time, but he figures that he just arrived now that everything is solved, he would have died if he had seen Louis while he was seizing.

"He will be tired for a while," Zayn explains, "But he is fine, probably a little scared."

Liam can deal with a scared Louis, he is always scared anyways. At least he has a reason now.

As soon as he gets closer and the kids open their eyes to see him, they both sit up and Louis hugs him letting Liam enjoy the feeling of his little arms wrapped around him, even just so lightly.

"Hey, I am sorry I wasn't here. Are you okay?" Liam asks glancing at Niall, sitting lonely on the bed. He is scared too.

Louis shrugs, mumbling something about wanting to go home, just as Zayn hands him the papers to fill without making a sound, which makes Liam worry again.

"Are you okay, Zayn?" he asks, as Niall takes advantage of the fact that Zayn is now closer to make his way into his arms.

Zayn hugs the kid with just one arm, nodding in Liam's direction, "I'm fine."

"You know, I don't need to be a shrink to know that you are not fine. Spill it."

"I said I am fine," Zayn snaps, ruffling Niall's hair just to keep himself busy and then he looks back up at Liam, "Why don't you sign these on go home?"

"Sure. Just- boys could you wait here for a little while?"

Louis shakes his head against Liam's chest and Niall grabs Zayn's shirt holding tighter on it, but Liam forces them to stay quiet and drags Zayn outside.

"Thank you for being here Zayn. Thank you so much."

"No big deal."

"So, what happened?"

Zayn looks at his shoes, forrowing his brows as he decides what to say. "I told you, he had a really high fever, I tried to give him meds and cool him down, but it didn't work. I knew it could have happened, I should have done something."

"Like what?"

"I don't know, it doesn't matter."

"Well, it does if you are acting like this. Seriously, Zayn. I think you can talk to me, you have seen my down moments plenty of times, right?"

"It's just- it scared me, okay?" he finally spits out, crossing his hands over his chest, "It's has been horrible, I didn't know what to do! He just kept shaking, and he looked so fragile, I thought he was going to break in half. And you didn't see Niall's face."

Liam smiles warmly, hugging him, he can understand perfectly how Zayn must have felt. Liam never knows how to deal with things like this and when he looked on the Internet he read that seizures are scary as hell. Deep down he is glad he wasn't the one being there, Zayn is more trained, he knows better what to do.

"I can't believe you never saw something like this," he says honestly. "I mean with your job."

"I did. I work with kids, I have seen that and worse. But Louis isn't my patient, he is your brother. It's not the same, and it's been awful," Zayn admits, letting himself enjoy Liam's warm embrace.

"We should get back in, I don't think they want to be alone right now," Zayn explains after a while, pulling back and going into the room again.

Louis is already dozing off, his head lolling against Niall's shoulder as he stares blankly in front of him.

"Want to go home?" Liam says, trying to sound cheerful, helping Louis put on his coat and embracing him into his own too, afraid he might get sicker if he goes outside with not enough layers.

It's probably a smart decision, since Zayn does the same with Niall, then they scoop the boys in their arms and finally go away.

"You coming home, right?"

"Actually, I can't leave Harry with Perrie today, it's her day off and she has this 'women's day' with her daughter, so..."

"But then you are coming over?" Liam keeps asking, "Please don't leave me alone. Not today, what if something happens again? I can't do this alone."

Zayn chews on his lip, "Actually I won't be too happy to get Harry sick," Zayn begins, but then he truly looks at Liam and he must be pitying him, because he changes his mind rather quickly, "But I'm coming over as soon as I get him."

With this promise Liam comes back home.

Louis and Niall are particularly clingy, but just for once it doesn't bother Liam. He has missed them and Louis has scared him to death today, so it's nice to feel their little bodies all over. It's a bit less nice when he has to go to the bathroom and can't even stand up from the couch without them getting upset.

He tries to make them rest for a bit, which is easier with Louis, who is tired just as Zayn said, and cuddles on Liam's left side, falling asleep almost immediately, between Liam and the couch, sucking on his thumb and hugging his teddy bear; it's a bit more difficult with Niall, who seems to be sitting right on Liam's bladder right now. And Liam is sure the little monkey sat there just to be aware of every movement. He can't stand up without bothering him, which means he can't stand up at all. Which is something his bladder won't allow for too long.

In the end he has to remove his arm from around Louis' shoulders and place Niall on the couch next to him, hoping they won't be too sad about him missing for a moment. Once his primary necessity is fulfilled, Liam peeks into the bedroom, he just wants to fix the bed for tonight, taking advantage of the moment of calm in the house.

He didn't expect his room to be such a mess, with blankets on the floor and something sticky on them and onto the pavement. Liam has a feeling that might have come from Louis' mouth. Yeah, he did pretty well with his research, he can't even imagine what it means to see it. Liam quickly throws everything away and just sets the bed with new sheets.

His only hope is that Zayn will be home soon, he really doesn't want to be alone right now.

 

AM INCREDIBLY SORRY.

This chapter was ready ages ago, but I have been so busy, I don't even want to talk about it.

Anyway, I asked your opinion about a new character but I didn't get a reply so, the question is still here. Would you mind him? I'll tell you who he is later on.

Enjoy the chapter and... uhm... sorry for the drama! Love you all!

On Monday Liam wakes up with a weird feeling in the pit of his stomach. It's still dark outside, but, for some reason, he can't sleep.

Today is the day.

He hasn't thought about Zayn's offer until yesterday, when Zayn had brought up the subject, telling Liam he really should accept that job at school. Things are okay for now. The boys haven't missed a single day of school, they are less upset now, they even learnt the alphabet and can count to ten without messing up. They are so good! Harry even tried to teach them to write vowels. They are messy but put all their affort into it.

Just watching them, Liam can tell that he'd love teaching kindergarten.

He'll try today. He'll just go there and see how things go, he won't sign any paper; not if he doesn't want to, so he'll be fine. He is just a bit nervous, the same he was when he had an exam and he couldn't sleep at night.

Liam glances at the alarm on the left side of his bed. It's still five in the morning. It's too early he thinks as he rolls around in his bed, trying not to wake up the two boys sleeping next to him, but as soon as he turns his back at them he hears the all too familiar noise of one of them slowly awaking and not being happy about it.

Sighing Liam turns back at them, trying not to crush the little body he can now feel pressing hard against his back. It's Niall, Liam realizes once he looks at them in the poor light filling the room. He is hugging his pillow, with both his arms and legs, like a little monkey, hiding his face into it and resting his head on Liam's pillow. These kids are occupying too much room, it'd probably be wise to teach them how to sleep in their room and Liam is planning to do that. Seriously, he is. Maybe next week.

Louis is wrapped in all the covers and oh, that's why Liam's back is getting cold, he doesn't have a blanket covering it. The kid is trying to lean closer to his brother, but as soon as he moves, his brother pulls away and gets closer to Liam.

Liam guesses Louis is having some kind of nightmare once he focuses on his tear stained face, so he hurries to wake him up, stepping off the bed and rushing to his side. He doesn't want to wake Niall up while he is sleeping so peacefully, but if he brings Louis into another room and Niall wakes up alone it will be so much worse. So he just shakes Louis's shoulder lightly, flinching when he realizes the poor kid his shaking like a leaf. "Lou?"

The little boy tries again to curl next to Niall, waking him up in the process but refusing to open his own eyes.

Niall almost jumps as he spots Liam standing in front of them, he quickly sits up, rubbing sleep off his eyes and crossing his legs under his bum, one of his arms still clutching the pillow, pulling it off Louis' face.

"Hey, Lou, you were having a bad dream, it's okay. You are awake now," Liam explains as he has already done plenty of times.

"Oh," Louis mumbles, crawling on the bed until he is in front of Liam, hugging him tightly.

"Lou, you are warm," Liam says outloud, well aware that the kid doesn't know what it means. He touches Louis' neck and forehead frowning, "You don't feel good, do you?"

Louis nuzzles his sweaty face against Liam's neck and clutches his hands around his shirt. Yeah, he is definitely too warm, Liam is pretty sure he has a fever, even if he doesn't have a thermometer to check how bad it is.

"Niall, how do you feel?" he asks, hoping he can trust the little boy to answer honestly, but all Niall does is shrug and that doesn't help at all. "Come on, come here," he says sitting on the bed with a sniffling Louis still pressed against him and touches Niall's face, "You are not warm. I think. I don't know."

Niall frowns, confused by Liam's actions and Liam sighs again. He's done it a lot lately.

What is he supposed to do at this point? He can't take Louis to school when he is feeling so poorly and it's probably unwise to make Niall go out when he isn't sure the kid is alright. Not to mention that he doesnt want to know what could happen if he tries to separate tjem. So what? If he doesn't show up to school today he'll waste his chance and throw away Zayn's effort to help him. But it's not like he has a choice, he realizes when Louis starts hiccupping.

They don't even have any meds and he can't go to the shop, he has no one to stay with the kids and he feels so helpless that he almost joins Louis into crying.

"Li? What's wrong?" Niall asks, curiously pocking Louis' leg and not receiving an answer.

"I think Louis is sick," Liam tries to explain as his mind wonders over everything he knows about baby sickness.

His mom used to give him apple juice when he was sick, she always said that he had to drink even when his throat was burning or he felt like throwing up. If you have a fever you have to stay hydrated. Good. Then what? She always gave him some syrupy med that he hated, but that had the magic power of making him feel better in a short time, it's a pity he doesn't have any. With all the things Daniel thought about telling him, why didn't he mention kid meds? Or a thermometer at least.

"Let's go downstairs," Liam decides, helping Niall off the bed and bouncing Louis up and down in the hope he'll calm down as he leads them in the kitchen.

There is no juice, but Liam warms up milk and gives a cup to Niall first. The boys have always been together and it's just a casuality that Niall is okay, he doesn't want to risk him getting sick too, so he'll be extremely careful around him today.

Then he fills another cup, still managing with one hand, while the other is holding Louis, but the kid refuses to even look at it. He is so hot that Liam now understands why Niall was trying his best to push him away in bed. Fuck, he is not good at this, not at all.

"Who is it now?" he asks when he hears the ringtone of his phone, which he obviously had left upstairs.

He runs up the stairs picking it up from the nightstrand, "Hello?"

"Hello!" a cheering voice answers. It's Zayn, "You agitated?"

"You could say so. I am not going."

"What? Why? Liam if you are having some kind of anxiety-"

Liam wishes he could say it's just anxiety, but in all honesty he had been afraid something like this would happen. He was so happy about this new job, just for a while he allowed himself to dream about it, but it doesn't matter. If it happened there has to be a reason. "Louis is sick, I can't take him to school and I can't leave him here."

Zayn doesn't answer, Liam has a feeling he doesn't believe him, but then Niall comes to him crying, his face all blotchy and sweaty and here we go, now he is sure the two of them are both sick.

"Look, Zayn I have to go now, I am a bit busy here and I don't even know how to handle them," Liam says, sitting Louis on the edge of the bed and taking a better look Niall, before placing him next to his brother.

"Liam, dress up, you are already late," Zayn says again.

Seriously? He brushes Niall's hair with his hand, staring at his watery eyes. "Zayn, I can't go anywhere, what am I supposed to do?" he doesn't mean to be harsh, but he is angry and scared and Zayn doesn't understand.

"I am coming over, I'll take care of them until you come home. Now hurry up you don't want to be late."

"I can't ask you that."

"You didn't ask, I offered."

"Zayn, you have a job."

"You have too. Look, I am half dressed, I'll be there in half an hour, you'd better be ready, or else I am throwing you out of your own house in your pajamas." Zayn states, hanging up before Liam has a chance to reply.

So what? He chews on his lower lip, pacing back and forth in the room for a couple of minnutes, before deciding to crutch in front of his brothers and make them decide. "Boys, I have to ask you a very very important question."

They look up with their shy faces, showing him that they are listening, so Liam proceeds with his question, "I know you are not feeling good, but would it be okay if I'd leave you just for a while?"

He realizes he should have phrased it differently when their eyes fill with tears again, "Don't leave us, Li," they croak out at the same time, flinching when they find out that speaking hurts.

"No, hey, look at me. Zayn will stay here with you. You like Zayn, don't you? He'll stay with you all the time, watch cartoons with you and I'll be quick, you won't even notice I am not here."

"Don't go, Li. Please."

Yeah, he shouldn't have asked, there is no way they are going to let him go without crying their eyes out. He picks his phone again and deals Zayn's number.

"You are going, Liam. I don't care what you are thinking, what has happened or else. Dress up, I wasn't kidding," Zayn says before Liam has a chance to explain.

"Zayn-"

"I am already driving to yours, I can't stay on the phone. Dress up, Liam."

And so Liam does, leaving the two sniffling boys in the big bed, with their blanket on and placing their bears next to them.

When Zayn arrives, Liam is ready to go. All of his things into his bag, his hair styled nicely and his shoes tied up. He is so worried that his hands are shaking, everything is happening so fast that he doesn't have a chance to process it all. Part of him is so proud for trying, the other part doesn't want to go. He'd say it's just for Louis and Niall, but honestly it has more to do with being afraid of failing than with the boys. What if the kids in school don't like him? What if he is not good as a teacher? In the end he likes the job he has right now.

"No, you don't, Liam. And we don't have time for this conversation, now go."

"Wait, where is Harry?" Liam asks, following Zayn upstairs as he goes to the kids.

Zayn stops midway through the stairs, "He's with Perrie, I didn't have time to take him to school and I don't want him getting sick. Now go, because I am pretty sure they won't let go of you if they see you."

"Wait, they are sick. I should just go to the pharmacy and-"

"I brought some meds for them and a thermometer. You can keep it. Now go."

Liam nods, kissing Zayn's face as quick as possible and rushes down the stairs. Then he runs back up, "Zayn, wait. They have to drink and-"

"Liam I am a doctor and I have a son. I am pretty sure I can handle them, but just in case, I have your number and I'll call you. Also, I know emergency numbers, I can call abulances if they get worse, firefighters if something burns, and police if someone gets in. I think you can go now."

"Thank you, Zayn."

\---

First thing Liam does as soon as the bell rings and he is go and call Zayn. Teaching is amazing, he has been staying with this Josh guy, who showed him what to do and how to act around kids, helped him learn all their names and since they'll be working together he even gave him his number. He is so happy and so excited that he has to talk to Zayn, like right now.

So he doesn't waste any time and rings him.

"Liam?"

"Zayn! It's amazing, seriously thank you. Josh, my coworker, said he'll talk to the principal but he is pretty sure I'm hired. I'll go back tomorrow anyways. They want- Are you there, Zayn?"

"Uhm, yeah. Liam I think you really should come now."

"What? Why? What happened?"

"Just promise me you won't freak out."

Liam rushes to his car, as he says "Too late, I am freaking out. Talk, Zayn."

"Come to the hospital, please. Liam be careful."

Liam hangs up without asking further informations. Zayn would just make him waste time and all he wants now is to find out what happened. A lot of things rush through his mind, he has no idea of what's going on and driving has never been so stressful as it his right now, when he has to focus on the road and people here want to be run over! They can't even look where they are going. And his mind just can't stop picturing the worse scenarios ever.

When he finally manages to arrive there, miraculously still intact, he feels like he has run the whole way, he can barely breathe and his legs are shaking.

Instead of asking a nurse, he calls Zayn when he is still in the parking lot and asks him where to go and what to do.

He somehow manages to arrive in front of Zayn, who looks like he has just been in a car wreck.

"Where are my brothers? Zayn, what happened?"

"I am sorry, Liam. I just wasn't expecting that."

"What? You weren't expecting what, Zayn? Please."

Zayn takes a deep breath, resting his back against a wall, "Louis had a seizure, his fever was too high. I am sorry, Liam, I promised I'd take care of them."

Liam nods, he knows he should say something, tell Zayn that it wasn't his fault, but he can't function properly right now. "How is he now?"

"He is okay. He can't be discharged unless you are here obviously, but he is okay."

Zayn leads him to Louis' room, where he finds his brothers curled up on the bed. There is an IV connected to Louis ' arm and his face is still tear stained, Niall is hugging him protectively, clutching him from behind and hiding his face into his brother's neck as they are both laying down.

Liam had imagined a lot worse, especially thinking about Niall's asthma attack last time, but he figures that he just arrived now that everything is solved, he would have died if he had seen Louis while he was seizing.

"He will be tired for a while," Zayn explains, "But he is fine, probably a little scared."

Liam can deal with a scared Louis, he is always scared anyways. At least he has a reason now.

As soon as he gets closer and the kids open their eyes to see him, they both sit up and Louis hugs him letting Liam enjoy the feeling of his little arms wrapped around him, even just so lightly.

"Hey, I am sorry I wasn't here. Are you okay?" Liam asks glancing at Niall, sitting lonely on the bed. He is scared too.

Louis shrugs, mumbling something about wanting to go home, just as Zayn hands him the papers to fill without making a sound, which makes Liam worry again.

"Are you okay, Zayn?" he asks, as Niall takes advantage of the fact that Zayn is now closer to make his way into his arms.

Zayn hugs the kid with just one arm, nodding in Liam's direction, "I'm fine."

"You know, I don't need to be a shrink to know that you are not fine. Spill it."

"I said I am fine," Zayn snaps, ruffling Niall's hair just to keep himself busy and then he looks back up at Liam, "Why don't you sign these on go home?"

"Sure. Just- boys could you wait here for a little while?"

Louis shakes his head against Liam's chest and Niall grabs Zayn's shirt holding tighter on it, but Liam forces them to stay quiet and drags Zayn outside.

"Thank you for being here Zayn. Thank you so much."

"No big deal."

"So, what happened?"

Zayn looks at his shoes, forrowing his brows as he decides what to say. "I told you, he had a really high fever, I tried to give him meds and cool him down, but it didn't work. I knew it could have happened, I should have done something."

"Like what?"

"I don't know, it doesn't matter."

"Well, it does if you are acting like this. Seriously, Zayn. I think you can talk to me, you have seen my down moments plenty of times, right?"

"It's just- it scared me, okay?" he finally spits out, crossing his hands over his chest, "It's has been horrible, I didn't know what to do! He just kept shaking, and he looked so fragile, I thought he was going to break in half. And you didn't see Niall's face."

Liam smiles warmly, hugging him, he can understand perfectly how Zayn must have felt. Liam never knows how to deal with things like this and when he looked on the Internet he read that seizures are scary as hell. Deep down he is glad he wasn't the one being there, Zayn is more trained, he knows better what to do.

"I can't believe you never saw something like this," he says honestly. "I mean with your job."

"I did. I work with kids, I have seen that and worse. But Louis isn't my patient, he is your brother. It's not the same, and it's been awful," Zayn admits, letting himself enjoy Liam's warm embrace.

"We should get back in, I don't think they want to be alone right now," Zayn explains after a while, pulling back and going into the room again.

Louis is already dozing off, his head lolling against Niall's shoulder as he stares blankly in front of him.

"Want to go home?" Liam says, trying to sound cheerful, helping Louis put on his coat and embracing him into his own too, afraid he might get sicker if he goes outside with not enough layers.

It's probably a smart decision, since Zayn does the same with Niall, then they scoop the boys in their arms and finally go away.

"You coming home, right?"

"Actually, I can't leave Harry with Perrie today, it's her day off and she has this 'women's day' with her daughter, so..."

"But then you are coming over?" Liam keeps asking, "Please don't leave me alone. Not today, what if something happens again? I can't do this alone."

Zayn chews on his lip, "Actually I won't be too happy to get Harry sick," Zayn begins, but then he truly looks at Liam and he must be pitying him, because he changes his mind rather quickly, "But I'm coming over as soon as I get him."

With this promise Liam comes back home.

Louis and Niall are particularly clingy, but just for once it doesn't bother Liam. He has missed them and Louis has scared him to death today, so it's nice to feel their little bodies all over. It's a bit less nice when he has to go to the bathroom and can't even stand up from the couch without them getting upset.

He tries to make them rest for a bit, which is easier with Louis, who is tired just as Zayn said, and cuddles on Liam's left side, falling asleep almost immediately, between Liam and the couch, sucking on his thumb and hugging his teddy bear; it's a bit more difficult with Niall, who seems to be sitting right on Liam's bladder right now. And Liam is sure the little monkey sat there just to be aware of every movement. He can't stand up without bothering him, which means he can't stand up at all. Which is something his bladder won't allow for too long.

In the end he has to remove his arm from around Louis' shoulders and place Niall on the couch next to him, hoping they won't be too sad about him missing for a moment. Once his primary necessity is fulfilled, Liam peeks into the bedroom, he just wants to fix the bed for tonight, taking advantage of the moment of calm in the house.

He didn't expect his room to be such a mess, with blankets on the floor and something sticky on them and onto the pavement. Liam has a feeling that might have come from Louis' mouth. Yeah, he did pretty well with his research, he can't even imagine what it means to see it. Liam quickly throws everything away and just sets the bed with new sheets.

His only hope is that Zayn will be home soon, he really doesn't want to be alone right now.

 


	11. The therapist

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things are just getting worse and maybe it's time for someone to do something.

The boys are sick, they have to stay at home for a while and obviously Liam can't leave them. Luckily Zayn doesn't push anymore with the whole teaching thing, he knows that Liam can't spend all that time away from the boys.

So Liam is back to his routine. Waking up to two crying babies and nursing them all the time, with the addition of a caring boyfriend and his nice son bringing a bit of happiness in their home.

He is currently sitting in front of his computer, with Louis curled up in his lap, staring at the screen and Niall coloring on the chair next to them. He was supposed to take them to the hospital today for their shot, but since they have been sick, Perrie rescheduled it for next week, when hopefully they'll be fine and won't even miss school, since she has been nice enough to take the appointment early in the morning.

"Liam," Niall calls, pulling at his shirt to get his attention, "Harry?" he asks.

Liam shifts Louis' body from his left to the right, his left arm completely numb because of the kid's weight.

Since the very first moment they met, Niall has always been the clingier one, while now Louis seems unable to leave Liam's side and he has to keep him into his arms all the time. Literally.

But Liam doesn't complain. He just turns the computer off and tries to fix lunch, explaining patiently, "Harry will be here when he gets back from school."

With all Zayn is doing for them, the least Liam can do is babysit Harry while his dad works, so he doesn't have to spend the afternoon in the hospital. Of course Harry enjoys staying at home and doing his homework with Liam and playing with his brothers. Or brother, actually, since Louis is not being very friendly lately.

Niall nods, chewing on his hand. "I want to play."

"We can play after lunch, okay kid?" Liam says. Niall is bored, and it's understandable because Louis doesn't want to play anymore. Since they came home, two days ago, Niall has been spending hours watching TV. "Can you grab three spoons?"

Niall nods, stumbling to the drawer and picking the two items and putting them on the table, the way Liam taught him, then he stumbles closer to Liam again, trying to reach for his brother.

Liam quietly places him on a chair, but as soon as Louis is released from Liam's hold he begins to cry.

Well, Liam can't really cook with Louis in his arms and this has been happening all the time, so he doesn't even bother hearing his quiet sniffling as Niall stands in front of his brother, trying to wipe away his tears.

"Lou, don't cry," Liam hears Niall mumble and instantly turns to them.

Niall is hugging his brother tightly, patting his shoulder and trying to calm him down, telling something about no needing to be so scared. Liam is so proud of him right now! The kid is really putting all his effort into helping his brother and it's easier said than done, there is no appearent reason for Louis to act this way.

He shakes his head, turning the stove off and pouring some soup in two plates, but he doesn't bring them on the table until the boys have parted, Niall dutifully sitting on his chair next to Louis, stiching to hold his hand instead of hugging him and Louis lets him do that, putting his other hand in his mouth and not really crying anymore.

Liam allows himself to smile and picks Louis up, sitting him in his lap again and putting a full spoon in front of his face. "Louis, come on," he begs, trying to resist the kid as he he hides his head on Liam's shoulder, refusing to even look at the food. "Louis, you need to eat. Come on, look at your brother, he is eating. How is the soup Niall?"

Niall is clumsily holding the spoon into his left hand, not in the right position and clearly not eating at all. Instead he is looking at his brother, with wide eyes and a small pout. "What's wrong with Lou?"

"I don't know, Ni. I really don't know."

Liam has tried to talk to Zayn about Louis' situation, but all Zayn has said is that Liam can't wait anymore. Waiting is doing no good to him and to his brothers. They all need professional help, they all need a therapist. A psychiatrist. Liam almost threw up when Zayn told him that, because needing help is one thing, needing a shrink is another and he really doesn't want to admit he needs that kind of help.

But Louis is scaring Liam, and he doesn't know what to do anymore.

"Hum," Liam thinks about what Daniel did with his brother when they babysat him, and talks to Louis, "Lou, open your mouth, yeah. There is a big tram going-"

"It's a train!" Niall giggles, spluttering soup all over his face, "Ciuff Ciuff, Louis. Open your mouth!" he says, sitting on his knees on the chair and slightly leaning in front of Louis.

Surprisingly enough when Liam presses the full spoon against Louis' lips, the boy opens it, half eating the soup and half spilling it on his chin and Liam's shirt.

They manage to eat three half spoons, but then Liam surrenders and lets Louis shut the world out again.

He sits on the couch with the two boys curled up on each side and watches a boring episode of Peppa the Pig the kids seems to enjoy until Harry comes comes home with the school bus.

The hyper kid quickly grabs some toys from the basket in the corner of the room and begins to play. Niall sits on the floor with him, but it's clear to Liam that he is being too quiet, he tries to stay on his own because he understands somehow that Louis doesn't want him. But it's the first time he doesn't have his twin and it's killing him. Everything is slipping from Liam's hands and he doesn't know what to do. He says that a lot, he feels a terrible person not being able to help the most important people in his life, but still there is nothing Liam could do that would be actually helful.

That's why Zayn finds him completely desperate that evening when he comes to pick Harry up. By then the kids have stopped play. Niall is curled up next to his brother, playing with his shirt and Louis hasn't said a word.

"You need help," Zayn declares and it's not like it's the first time but it still hurts. "Come with me."

"What? Where?"

"I want you to meet a friend of mine."

"What friend?"

"His name is Michael," Zayn explains, "He is a close friend of mine, we went to uni together and, Liam, he is professional. He works with-"

"Zayn..." Liam tries to stop him, holding his hand up to make him shut up, but Zayn is having none of it.

Instead he grabs Liam's hand, guiding it down and holding it tight. "Liam, give him a try, okay?" he asks with an helpful expression, half smiling at him. "There is nothing to be afraid of. Harry has had some sessions with him and he loved it. They played and Michael is good at listening, he is funny. I'm sure you'll like him."

"The boys are sick, we can't go out," Liam mumbles. It makes no sense, but it's the best objection Liam could come up with.

"No fever since yesterday, they can. And Mikey is closing his studio right now, there won't be anyone, so the kids won't be scared. It's not a real therapy session, just please, meet him, he is nice. He'll help. And if you don't like him I won't force you to come back."

"Zayn-"

"Liam! When is the last time you heard Louis' voice?" he asks harshly and Liam shrugs. "Exactly. Now, let's go."

That's how they end up in the Clifford studio.

-

Liam steps inside clutching a bit harder his brother's hand and Niall gives him a worried look. He is supposed to reassure him, instead he is trying to be comforted by a kid and that's ridiculous.

The place is quite nice if Liam has to be honest, it's kid size and colorful, yet impossibly neat and organised. Whoever works here has to be some kind of OCD freak and Liam already hates him. It's fine, he is meeting this Michael guy and never put a foot into this place ever again. Neither are his brothers.

They are the only ones, like Zayn said and the door to the doctor office is opened, a nice man standing on the doorstep with a fake smile plastered on his face. He is pale as a ghost and his eyes are wide and sparkling.

"Hey, Mike! Thanks for waiting. So, these are Liam, Louis and Niall and you already know Harry."

Michael waves at the them, obviously scrutinising the kids and Liam and the latter feels like he is standing there naked.

"Come in, please," Michael says warmly, while Zayn grabs his son's hand and keeps him in the waiting room, Harry already eyeing some cubes to play with.

"Liam?" Niall calls from the spot right behind Liam's left leg, "I don't like here."

I don't either, Liam thinks bitterly, but the annoying, smiling doctor prompts for them to walk in and Liam is forced to grab Niall's small hand and push him inside. He doesn't have words to tell him for comfort. And why is Louis still doing nothing? He just keeps his face buried into Liam's chest and clutches his hand around Liam's shirt.

Somehow Liam ends up telling this doctor all the details on how he ended up with Niall and Louis, what he knows about their health, or better lack of it and how they are acting.

The doctor writes something on his notepad and Liam read somewhere that it's supposed to be a comfort thing for the patient: it means that the doctor gives a lot of importance to what he says. Well, Liam doesn't feel comforted. He can't stop thinking that the more he writes, the more it means that what he says is important. And important for a doctor means bad. And he doesn't want things to be bad.

Michael is nice after all, a lot nicer than what Liam gives him credit to. He talks to Niall, asking him about random things, from his eye color to his favorite food. He even tried to make Louis interact with him. No personal questions though. Michael doesn't mention the boys'old life and that's what Liam feared the worse, and he doesn't push the boys at all. When he asks about school, Niall whimpers and the doctor drops the question, not even waiting for an answer. It almost looks like he wants them to befriend him.

After something like an hour and half, Liam can consider his first therapy session ended. The doctor asks when he is comfortable to meet them again, he offers to schedule another late meeting, at least at first, so there won't be other kids in the waiting room and it might be more comfortable and Liam doesn't argue. The thought "Why do we have to meet again?" doesn't cross his mind, not at all.

Once they are out, Liam with tears in his eyes and all, Michael calls for Zayn and the two of them get inside to have a private talk.

Now, Liam doesn't really mind that Zayn knows what the doctor thinks, he'd tell Zayn what happened anyway and he wants Zayn to know. He is his boyfriend for crying out loud! But why do they have to talk in private?

Harry gives his cubes to Niall and Louis, explaining to them how they work, but of course Louis doesn't interact, and Niall looks at him before deciding that he doesn't want to play either.

Surprisingly enough, Harry doesn't push anymore.

"What's wrong, Ni?" Liam asks, hugging the little.one with his arm, while Harry frowns.

"I don't want to play if Lou doesn't." he explains, grabbing his brother's hand and sighing.

"It's okay, Mickey," They hear Zayn say, when the two doctors open the door and Liam widens his eyes when he realises that Zayn is patting Michael's shoulder in a too friendly way.

"Harry?" he whispers, "Do you know Mr. Michael?"

"Sure! He is mom's cousin."

Here we are again. So they are not just friends, they are family.

Liam bits his lip hard when Zayn hugs Calum. Why are they here? For the boys or because Zayn wanted to see Perrie's brother? The hug lasts a bit too much for Liam's liking and it just makes him angry.

He knows he isn't being fair. Zayn has done a lot for him and Michael is a nice guy. But he is stressed our and Zayn is clearly playing with his feeling, forcing him to go to a therapist and still having contacts with his ex wife and her family. It's disgusting.

When they are done, Liam follows Zayn almost mechanically, sliding in the passenger seat of the car with Louis still pressed against him, while the kid chews on his hand and Niall and Harry sit in the back.

"Everything okay?" Zayn asks, almost sensing the tense atmosphere.

"You are friend with your ex-wife's cousin?"

"He is the husband of one of Perrie's cousins. Apart from that, I met him before Perrie and all, we are friends as I told you." He is not exactly explaining, he seems just disappointed by Liam's accusation, as le clutches the steer wheel a bit tighter. "He asked for a favor, anyway."

"What favor?"

"He didn't tell me about you and your brothers. It's professional secret, you know? What you say when you are into that room stays there and he can't talk about it to me. Only you can tell me what happened, if you want to."

"Which favor, Zayn?" And why were you hugging him? He doesn't ask the second question because right now it looks too childish.

Zayn rolls his eyes, "Professional secret."

"Zayn!"

"Michael has a brother, he wants me to talk to him, things are a bit rough," Zayn explains, smiling when Liam gives him an apologetic look.

"So, who is up for ice cream?"

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SORRY SORRY SORRY  
> I know I should have updated ages ago. But uni and a bunch of other things I don't even remember.
> 
> And then IRELAND! yup, I went to Ireland and I have to say this. Irish people are like the coolest ever! I have traveled a bit, I have met other people and other cultures (not so many, but still...) and I have never met people as funny and gentle and helpful as I did in Ireland. Seriously. Ireland is amazing by the way and I am already planning to go there again ahahah
> 
> Anyway, hope you enjoyed the chapter. Please, tell me what you think about it, you'd make me impossibly happy! 
> 
> In the end I decided I wanted this other character anyway. I don't remember if I already reveled who he was (hope I didn't) but in case... have a feeling? 
> 
> Hoping to update sooner.  
> Libs_


	12. Zayn's patient

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We finally get to meet Michael's brother.

"Liam, I was wondering, I have to work today-”

“You always work, Zayn,” Liam points out, holding his phone between his ear and his shoulder as he balanced the dirty cloth basket on one side, while the other hand is busy with the soap. He could be a nice housewife. If anything he is already desperate, pun intended.

Zayn chuckles, “I meant when I come back from work, I still have to work. Remember Michael and his favor? Well, he is my job for tonight and I really can’t leave Harry alone all that time, he’ll get bored and get in the way. So I was wondering… would you like to stay at mine tonight? Maybe come here and babysit Harry for an hour or so and then we can have dinner and you can all sleep here. I mean, I have been at yours and you don’t know where I live, but if you don’t want to, it’s okay. I can pick Harry up when I’m done, or pick him before coming home and leave him with Perrie or-”

“Zayn, it’s fine, just give me your address. And maybe tell me what time you want me to come.”

“Cool! I’ll text you the address. You can come whenever. I mean, I leave from work at eight.”

That’s how Liam finds himself at Zayn’s that evening.

His house is nice and, while Zayn takes a shower, Harry shows their guests every room. He spends a lot of time in his room to show Niall and a slightly less interested Louis all his toys, then runs through the whole house and explains that he has never had friends at home, because daddy gets overprotective and, besides, other kids don’t really like him. Liam can’t help being shocked when he says it that easily, like he isn’t even talking about himself. Well, that’s for the better maybe, if he’d realised that no one likes him, he’d be sad and Liam enjoys when the kid is so happy.

“What’s in there, Harry?” Liam asks as they stand in front of a close door.

Harry puts his hand on the handle of the door, pushing it up and down, as he explains, “It’s daddy’s room, where he takes his patients. He says so, but he never works at home. And he doesn’t like when I go inside.”

The door is in fact closed with a key, but Harry still tries to open it and when Liam goes to stop him, Zayn steps in, dressed in a way Liam has never had the pleasure to see him before, with sweatpants and a hoodie, still barefoot and with his hair wet. “Harry, you know you can’t go in there,” he warns, putting his hands on his hips.

“But daddy, Liam wanted to see it!”

“Actually-” Liam mumbles, trying to explain that it isn’t what it looks like, but Zayn stops him with a wave of his hand a genuine smile that says ‘I know’.

Before he can scold his son, the doorbell rings and Zayn rushes downstairs to welcome this mysterious patient. 

Liam quickly brings all the kids in the living room, guessing they can stay downstairs, so Zayn can have all the privacy he needs. Luckily, Harry doesn't complain.

Liam sits Louis on the couch, because even if the boy doesn’t like the idea, Liam can’t hold him all the time, his arms get tired at some point. Obviously Niall sits next to him in a minute, cuddling against his side and putting his little thumb in his mouth.

While he tries to calm a whimpering Louis, Harry runs to the door and Liam doesn’t have the time to stop him, before he reaches his dad and the boys standing on the doorstep.

There is Michael of course. He looks nothing like the doctor Liam met. He is tired, clearly upset and looks like he doesn't have a lot of time to spend with them. Then there is a little boy next to him. He is not a kid and that’s not exactly what Liam had been expecting. He thought Zayn was a pediatric psychiatrist, and this boy is at least fifteen years old, so he isn’t an adult but definitely not a kid either. [I know pediatric goes until 18, but Liam probably doesn't and he was expecting a younger child]

“Ash!” Harry yells, “What did you do to your hand?” he asks and Liam notices the bandage around his left hand just as Harry grabs it in his small hands, earning a whimper from the boy, who quickly clutches his arm against his body and a glare from his dad.

Zayn grabs Harry’s arm and pulls him away from the boy, motioning for the new boy to come in as Michael waves and leaves.

“So, Ashton, these are Liam and his brothers, Louis and Niall,” Zayn explains, “Do you want some juice, or water?”

Ashton shakes his head, slowly letting go of his hurt hand, which was still cradled in his other hand and looks at the floor. He hasn't said a word yet and Liam finds himself curious to hear his voice. When Liam was fifteen he was just changing his voice, he was in that weird moment when his voice was high and kinda funny. He wonders if the boy’s voice is that weird too.

Anyway it’s not just the voice that makes Liam curious. For starter, Liam wonders what could bring a teenager to the point of needing a psychiatrist and well, with the events going on in his life and all the struggling of his brothers he shouldn’t be so surprised. 

But Liam remembers how it was to be fifteen, he still likes to think he was a teenager not long ago. And he had always thought he had had a terrible adolescence, that he had had a hard life with his mom getting remarried and all, but he always managed to go on on his own. So, what's going on in this boys mind?

The boy stands in front of them, chewing on his lower lip and looking down, purposely avoiding every human being, until Zayn asks for him to go upstairs. “They'll wait here, so we can be alone,” Zayn explains and Ashton nods following him through the stairs.

Liam manages to keep the boys quiet for at least an hour, but at some point they can hear commotion from upstairs. Someone is yelling, and it's not Zayn's voice, so it has to be Ashton, even if his voice is a lot deeper than how Liam imagined it. He sounds clearly upset and even if Liam tries to turn the TV on and distract the boys, they can still hear it. Somehow Harry manages to sneak upstairs and when Liam realises that he is gone, the kid is already knocking on Zayn’s door.

“I’m sorry!” Liam sighs when he reaches them and finds Zayn scolding his son, fat tears running down Harry’s cheeks.

He feels terrible because he only had to do one thing, watch Harry. And he failed miserably. He really is a terrible boyfriend and sometimes Liam wonders what Zayn finds attractive in him. If he were someone else, he’d run away from himself, honestly. It’s not out of pity, it’s a matter of fact.

Anyway, he can drench in self pity later.

“Liam, I need to have a talk with him. Could you please bring Ashton downstairs and stay with him? We are done anyway but I don't want Ash to go home alone, so make him stay.”

Liam nods and knocks on the open door, just to let Ashton know that he is coming in. The boy looks at him with bloodshot eyes, his face red and wet with tears.

“Zayn said you are done. Do you mind if we go downstairs?” Liam asks and when Ashton doesn't reply, he keeps talking. “I left my brothers down there and they hate being alone. It's actually a miracle they aren't crying  yet and I don't want to push my luck.”

Ashton nods, wiping his eyes with his fist and standing up slowly, following Liam, who makes him sit on the couch, next to the boys.

First thing Liam notices is that Louis and Niall are quietly talking, both of them. They are simply adorable. Liam can't hear what they saying, they are getting better at lowering their voices and Niall's hand wisely hides Louis’ mouth as he whispers in his ear.

“Are you okay?” Liam asks, glancing back at Ashton as the sad boy sniffles, his shoulders shaking lightly. 

“Yeah.”

“Do you want to talk, Ashton?”

Ashton hugs himself with his good arm, the other one resting on the armrest. “Not really,”he mumbles with a very raspy voice, “I spoke for an hour. And I am sorry but I don't remember your name.”

“It's Liam. And it's fine, I was just curious. You should enjoy this time of your life, I guess. I played football when I was your age.”

Ashton sighs, leaning back and resting his head against the couch, “I used to play volley.”

“You stopped? Why?”

Ashton gives him a weird look, with his brows forrowed and his lips slightly parted, he probably can't breathe through his nose with all this crying. “Didn't Zayn tell you?” he asks surprised.

Liam shakes his head, explaining, “Zayn takes his work seriously. He says it's a secret and you are the only one who can talk about it.” While talking Liam stands up to find some tissues.

“My mom is dying,” Ashton sighs, biting his lip to hold back tears, “And I hate it.”

Liam has found the tissues in the closet. Luckily he is with his back to Ashton, so the boy can't see Liam's face. “I'm sorry you are not coping well.” he says simply.

Liam feels an asshole telling him that. How could the boy cope good with his mom’s death? He is being an idiot. Well, he has never been good with this and no one showed him a nicer way to act when it was Liam the one who lost his mum.

“It's not that. I just accidentally punched a mirror,” Ashton explains, motioning at his bandaged hand, “And sliced my hand open, and my brother thought I was trying to kill myself or something. He is overreacting”

“I am sorry still sorry.”

“Please don't pity me. You can't understand what it feels like.”

Liam nods, because it's true, but then he remember that he can sympathise a little bit, so he shakes his head, “Actually I can. My mom died a few months ago.”

Ashton stares in shock, his eyes wide open. “I- uhm- sorry.”

“It's okay. I only told you to show you that I do understand.”

Liam doesn't know what else to say, so he just sits in front of the boy, glancing at his brothers from time to time and hoping Zayn will be quick. 

“Is this why your brothers are so quiet?” Ashton asks at some point.

“What?”

“They are sad becaus of your mom’s death? I am sorry, you don't have to answer.” 

Liam smiles at the shy boy, wishing he’d be able to help him somehow. “It's a bit more complicated than that,” he explains, “But you are young, you should still do things that make you happy.”

“I am not that young. I'm seventeen.”

“Oh, you look-”

“Younger, I know. Everyone tells me that and I hate it.”

Liam can tell he is upset by that, so he tries to apologise. “It wasn't meant to sound bad.”

The boy twists the hem of his shirt in his good hand, staring at him. “It was nice if I were in my late thirties and you told me I look twenty. Now being small is just one more reason for people to make fun of me.”

Before Liam can think about what to say, Niall steps in the conversation. This is something that rarely happens, but what the kid says makes his heart ache. “They make fun of us too.”

“Who?” Ashton asks, glancing at them with a curious expression.

“Boys at school, ‘cause we are short,” Niall explains, while Louis pushes his arm, making it clear that he doesn't want to hear about this.

But Ashton doesn't notice, he simply turns to Liam, a bit confused. “They go to school?”

“They turn six in a few days.”

And that's when Ashton realises that they are pretty much in the same situation. He leans a bit against the kids, ruffling Niall's blond hair, since he is the closest and he is the one who talked to him and reassures him that they'll grow up soon.

While Ashton sweetly talks to the boys, mostly about how much he loved being their age, Luis offers him the car in his hands and Ashton stares at it a bit confused, so Liam tells him, “He isn't talking much lately and this is his way to ask you if you want to play. You don't have to play.”

“Oh,” Ashton smiles, “I'd love to.”

And soon enough he sits on the ground in front of the twins, playing with the car, until Zayn and his son come back downstairs.

Harry is clearly upset and Liam wonders if he has been grounded. He thinks so, especially when Harry apologises to Liam for sneaking away and to Ashton for intruding.

Zayn smiles at Harry when he is done and puts him on the armchair, far from the others and Harry pouts.

“Do you want to stay, Ash?” Zayn asks when he notices that the boy is at ease playing with the twins.

But Ashton stands up quickly, his face instantly turning to the same blank expression he had when he arrived. “I'd rather go home, sorry for staying so long.”

“I told Liam to keep you here, it's okay. I'm giving you a lift.”

“You really don't have to.”

“I have to buy dinner anyway, come on,” Zayn runs a arm over Ashton’s shoulders, guiding him out and Liam is left with the kids again.

-

Sorry for the slow update... I am barely balancing between all the studying and helping at home and my boyfriend left aain for work and he calls me a lot and I really don't have a lot of free time.

Anyway, this is my new character. Obviously he is Ash from 5sos, but if you don't know him I don't think it's a big issue (but please, loom at his face, he is adorable!)

Next one will be probably next week, after my exam (wish me good luck, I really need it!!!)

 


End file.
